Miscellaneous: Today, I play softball and we use eye black because it helps... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By anon - 20/09/2016 00:07 - United States - East Stroudsburg

Today, I play softball and we use eye black because it helps block out the glare. I sat down at my desk to do my makeup and put some chapstick on instead of lipgloss. Turns out, it was not chapstick, it was my eyeblack. They come in similar packaging and now my lips are stained black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 186

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

that90sgurl 17

Thursday 22 September 2016 4:28

Black lipstick looks sick af! Rock it!

KittieTetaz520 15

Tuesday 20 September 2016 13:02

Well Halloween is just around the corner..

Comments

KittieTetaz520 15

Tuesday 20 September 2016 13:02

Well Halloween is just around the corner..

that90sgurl 17

Thursday 22 September 2016 4:28

Black lipstick looks sick af! Rock it!

DanielleinDC 33

Friday 23 September 2016 20:06

Nothing wrong with black lipstick.

vikingchick 22

Saturday 24 September 2016 4:22

Get some Washi tape or duct tape and wrap a section of one of your tubes. :D

redneck_42099 4

Monday 3 October 2016 0:26

I use face paint and whatnot often when I hunt the best way to remove it is to scrub it with baby oil and hot water hope, this helps.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Parents Instagram I need your advice Love Ghosting Social Media Weddings Kids Weird Crush Sexism Babysitter Swimming pool Gross Bodyshaming Students Teenagers Anxiety Mental health School Education Embarrassing Awkward Cleaning Family Football Sports Cheating

The Top

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 877

You deserved it 3 084

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 496

Random

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 084

You deserved it 1 539

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 815

You deserved it 7 845

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 049

You deserved it 3 889

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 346

You deserved it 33 918

Today, I found a banana on my bed. It was black and shriveled because I accidentally left it there after I thought I finished the whole bushel I bought last week. I've been sleeping in my bed all week and didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 620

You deserved it 3 911

Today, while working at Subway, I was called a "terrorist" and other names by a customer 'behind my back'. I made him the best sandwich I'd ever made, in order to leave a good impression. Then I had to say the wonderful words, "Your total is $9.11." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 237

You deserved it 158