SerendipityRose
San Jose, United States
Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML
Top comments
Kiki242 19
How does he know that?
DocBastard 40
You should see what your foot can do to his ass after dinner.
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Comments (94)
thedhanjal 10
Tell him you were just scratching his back ;)
Futacy 30
How and when did he get your bf to show him that?
DrDilllonReese 12
That would have to he some intense back scratching! Especially considering that it's a family dinner, which leads me to believe that the bf is wearing a shirt, which would insinuate that the scratch marks, or should I say claw marks?, were visible through it. Way to be fierce OP ;)
LolFMLnot 10
Kids these days -___- What happened to innocence?
RedPillSucks 33
It was spoiled when he watched his sister getting royally ****** in the back of her boyfriends car
GuessWhatKids 13
Kids say the darnde- I'll show myself out.
SerendipityRose 26
He didn't actually show him specifically, TJ had his shirt off at the house & my little brother saw his back... He asked what happened & said that TJ got his butt kicked by a girl. It was a harmless joke & look where it got us. So mortifying...
SerendipityRose 26
I wonder why they changed the wording in the FML... & why my comments don't show up as the OP. Strange.
SerendipityRose 26
Btw, 12, I've left scars... There's one I'm particularly proud of that runs from his left shoulder by the spine to left side of his ribs. Marking my territory.
christopherryan 0
Isn't it fantastic when the OP comments!!! It gives so much more insight and clears up so much confusion and answers many questions. Thank you OP for being responsible and following up on your FML
SerendipityRose 26
You're very welcome, 70... I knew it would need at least a little explaining. I enjoy when the poster comments, too.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
#18 I hope you're talking about the little boy and not the girlfriend&boyfriend, if so then ignore this, otherwise f*cking grow up.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Marking your territory??? O_o Why don't you pee on him while you're at it? Or punch him in the face, it's even more visible! If you really think that giving a scar to your boyfriend will prevent other girls to chat him up, you are very naive... Looks also like you have some serious growing up to do too if you are proud of that "clever" idea.
SerendipityRose 26
78, I'm 28 years old & we've been married now for nearly 6 years. This is what is known as a "post dated" FML. As for what I said, learn to recognize a joke, please. It might help you go through life without your head exploding... The scar does exist, but he happens to be proud of it. He sees it as proof that he "does a damn good job" when we're together.
Tyrax 16
Damn girl. Those aren't fingernails, those are claws! Mark that man of yours!
Kiki242 19
How does he know that?
ThisIsHard 5
That's my question too.
hama806 19
Oh the joys of an innocent mind.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Maybe the boyfriend was in the house and had his top off so the little brother saw. The FML says the first dinner out not necessarily the first time he's met the parents.
juker369 7
I don't understand why people are confused on how the 10 year old saw the boy friend's back. Maybe they have a pool, maybe they went to a lake, or maybe they were playing basketball and the bf got hot and took his shirt off revealing the scratches. Use your imagination, but there are plenty of instances where a shirtless male is not uncommon....
Feared 9
Boyfriend : Before I beat you with my balls, do you have any last requests? Kid : Please... Just tell me... How did you scratch them so bad?
ThatsAfurry 9
After thorough research involving foreign currency and graphs I have arrived at the fact that Op could be gay or bi
SerendipityRose 26
This wasn't the first time meeting my Parents or my younger brother, but it was the first time he met my older brother, his girlfriend & their kid... We were out for my Mom's birthday at a really nice Chinese restaurant.
SerendipityRose 26
What else would he think they were from? My nose? When my little Bro asked about it & TJ winked at me while saying he got his butt kicked by a girl, it did take much brain power after that to make the conclusion that my nails did the damage, plus there's no cat in the house at the time...
william8691 10
Maybe the kid walked in on them... And possibly watched them perform coitis..
mmmPoptarts 6
That doesn't really sound like an "innocent" 10 year old boy, but are there even innocent 10 year old boys these days anymore?
gc327072 31
Lol nope.
walmartpaysme 15
He may not have known HOW his back got scratched up. Only that his sister did it.
G3K0 7
Girls are the non innocent ones.. 12 year olds dating 18+??
beatlegirl27 20
There are no innocent 10 years olds anymore these days
NewMetalGirl 14
31- The 18 year old in that gross relationship would have some part there too. It wouldn't just be the 12 year old. The 18 year old would be the one In trouble too.
walmartpaysme 15
31- What does that have to do with this FML?
thgiL 9
45- it had to do with 3's comment which is why he replied to him.
ShadowCzar 5
I agree i really do
kittysundae 8
Yes there are homeschooled kids are pretty innocent
DocBastard 40
You should see what your foot can do to his ass after dinner.
2ophiia 22
But Doc, he's only ten!
MidnightKnight 6
13- Pfft, so? He should already be out into the world trying to be the Pokemon Master.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
4 - red foreman from that 70's show came to mind when I read your comment
miyaviichan 27
*Forman
RobinKCS 9
I feel as though that could begin a very kinky incest porno. I mean, I'm totally not aroused right now...I'll be back later.
thgiL 9
49- that's beyond ******...
KunoKanashimi 3
Is that advice from Red's foot's book 'On the Road to in Your Ass'?
charlieisawesome 4
What the hell ??
SerendipityRose 26
Doc, he knew he was in trouble after the dinner simply by my Father's & older Brother's reactions.
onlychildFTW 34
Sounds like he should be in trouble. Good decision.
g_asia 4
4 - I read your comment and pictured Red saying it.
DocBastard 40
SerendipityRose - Ah, the "anonymous" OP emerges! Good. I'm glad he got in trouble. At 10, he should know better to keep his mouth shut at times like that. I hope he lost his Xbox or Wii or DS or whatever the hell it is that 10-year olds play with.
jizzwold 21
Why should he be punished if he didn't even know what he was saying?
SerendipityRose 26
He lost his comp for a week & our routine Friday afternoon single scoop trips to Baskin Robins for 3 weeks. By the end of the month he had the watery-eyes, trembly-lip, "I'm reeeeeeally sorry" thing going on & I caved.
geon_olam 17
Three weeks?!! But the FML says it happened today!
miyaviichan 27
Everyone here clearly sucks, it's spelled Forman. Go look this stuff up before you downvote k thanks.
SortOfSexy 4
Why would your younger brother know that you did that?
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Tank tops sound about right
p3mguin 7
Because it is his "fravrit"
bobgooeyflonder 6
I think there's something your 10 year old bro isn't telling you...
Bakarra 22
Anyone who plays video games like CoD or LoL online knows that ten year old boys are NOT innocent
bobgooeyflonder 6
This is so true. "Why did you have to kill me! You're gay! I'm gonna like to totally **** your mom now!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
jackw428 6
10 year olds play League? Geez, I thought they went for mindless games like CoD.
CaptTeemo 10
Damn kids
DJP0N3 0
Lol reach kids, that's how I get running riots that game is so easy I can't wait for halos 4 5 and sex
HazeyWeed 4
I agree with #5..how? :O
ambowew 7
Deny mode: activate! It wasn't my nails, it was the ******* cat! Just hope that no one picks up on the lack of felines in the house.
kittytub 12
silly human. tricks are for dogs!!
perdix 31
You should stuff a cat down his shirt and make that little bastard give birth to it.
vintage3113 6
Love the cross FML references lol