Carny

Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML

Let him have his innocence

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

Little twit

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

Sorry dude

Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

Leave me alone

Today, my brother turned into a fanatical vegan, and while I was eating my scrambled eggs, sat across from me glaring and whispering, "fried embryo, amniotic fluid" the entire time. I have a feeling i'll be eating most of my meals in my room from now on. FML

Egg IRL

Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML

Thanks for the input

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML