Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for having Facebook open at work. That's fine, I closed it and continued on with my work. In a meeting later on I could see the reflection of my boss's laptop screen in a mirror behind her desk. For two hours, I watched her scroll through her Facebook feed. FML
Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML
Today, I was working from home. I felt very sleepy, so I set my online status “Active” and went back to bed. I woke up to 3 missed calls from my boss and an email from him, containing a webcam screenshot of me asleep in bed. I totally forgot he has remote access to my computer. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Today, my boss and I were bragging about our new phones. I unlocked mine to show its awesome display, and accidentally opened a job search app. FML
Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss's office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML
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Top comments
desireev 18
One of the first things an employer of an office environment will tell you is "Stay off of Facebook!" Sorry, OP.. But YDI. You knew it was a rule and you broke it.
nephilim241 19
Managing.. Like a boss
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Comments (248)
Capt_Oblivious 10
He should have changed it to 'An unemployed dumbass', it perfectly suits you.
millionz4184 2
I hope u get a new job soon. It's hard out here for a pimp and the hoes r getting disrespectful.
Timmeeh 17
Is nobody else actually allowed to use facebook at work? I work at a University, it's pretty much the accepted that we can use it for networking with undergrad students (actually, one of my colleagues is currently writing a paper on the use of facebook and similar social networking as a teaching and organisational tool in higher education). In the job I worked at before that, we used it for general inter-company networking pretty routinely. Nowhere I've worked has in any way banned or tried to manage the use of facebook or similar at work; am I the only one?
allonblack 4
42- Due to spelling variations, I'm assuming you're not from the US. See, a lot people here like to be lazy and waste time at work (generally). They then ruin it for the people who do work hard--and who are able to balance their tasks and social networks--and therefore get Facebook banned from most all office jobs. Why someone can't wait for their break to chat it up, I'll never understand.
mom2pen 4
It's blocked on our work computers, I teach.
Timmeeh 17
Yeah, I guess that makes sense; everywhere I've worked has been fairly trusting and young-person friendly, even the job I worked at before this which was a very large company. I think the difference is that the industry I work in is extremely result oriented; you have a deadline, if you fail to meet that deadline then bad things happen to you. They don't mind too much how you spend your days as long as you keep meeting deadlines, i.e. spend your work day tossing around on Farmville if you want, you'll be spending your weekends doing the work you should've finished in the week. It's actually pretty nice to work in an environment where you're trusted, when we finished work early and were waiting on others to finish to get on with more, the company let us run servers for counter-strike etc on the LAN.
yetanotherginger 19
but again "they do work hard" is not consistent with "they use facebook at work" because you still shouldn't be goofing off at work unless it's your break. so regardless of "them ruining it for the rest", you are still breaking company policy
AmbrosiaWriter 17
I used to work at a Law Firm as a secretary, and I wasn't allowed to use Facebook (or even my personal e-mail.) There was always something that could be done while I was there, be it making phone calls, sorting documents, making copies, etc. Now that I'm working a student employment job at my Institute, they don't mind what the heck I'm doing on my laptop as I work the space I'm required to, but the atmosphere is very student friendly and I typically end up doing my homework. In most corporate offices, there really isn't any downtime outside of your breaks. There will always be something you should be working on during company time. Feeding your cows on Farmville is not one of them.
Reality_bites 14
I think it depends on whether Facebook is used mainly for work or personal purposes. I think there is nothing wrong with using it for work purposes - such as communicating to relevant groups within your work eg in your case undergraduates within your uni environment - because you are performing work duties. But in the case of the OP it seems like she used facebook a lot for personal use as it was enough for her boss to notice and for her to get subsequently fired over it.
radiocaf 29
You should download that program that connects to your phone via Bluetooth; when you move out of range of your computer and it loses Bluetooth signal, it locks and requires a password to continue.
ChaosAngel17 14
@43 Or he can just work and not go on Facebook.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
It's the company computer, that would probably get him fired from his new job (when he gets one) if he did that. Either that, or the boss would have the password anyway and be able to open it up to see that he was on Facebook.
ZielZone 4
Buahahahahah. DOH!!!
Wellwhateverthen 8
Use the Facebook app on your phone instead?
Snafuusmc 12
LIKE A BOSS! Yeah it happen so what?
bubo_fml 11
Start a 'Spreading Santorum' type of blog about your ex-boss!
anjtrg_1112 23
Did you really have to go on Facebook during work? I mean, that's just asking for trouble.
Calyx_fml 22
Almost everyone replying to this with YDI at 10:30 am on Tuesday is doing so from work. Hypocrites. OP, get a smartphone that you take with you into the bathroom where you can fb all you want.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Actually, college students are all on winter break right now, and there are many people who don't work 9-5 jobs. Bad assumption is a bad assumption.
ChaosAngel17 14
@62 Actually I'm waiting for my classes to start, and as 72 said there are some students that are still on break. Also not everyone works a typical 9-5 shift.
allonblack 4
62: 1) You're wrong. 2) Does that include yourself?
strawberryxdream 3
Yeah... Because we all have banker hours.. -.-
raphanne_fml 33
#62 I'm from Europe, and it's 9:33 pm right now... Not everyone here is from North America.
blueeyedwolf 10
I am a stay at home house wife. There goes your theory.
DocBastard 40
Wow, Calyx. I've seen very few comments as utterly ridiculous as yours, and considering how long I've been here, that says a lot.
Timmeeh 17
"On 01/10/2012 at 6:47pm by Calyx" Not everyone in the world is from where you are.