Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML
Today, I got broken up with by someone I wasn't even dating. They had gone radio silent for two weeks and just popped in to say it was "better to be honest" instead of radio silence. FML
Today, a guy I had developed feelings for broke things off with me, giving me a version of the “it’s not you, it’s me” line. This was the first person I had liked/wanted to date in almost 8 years. I think I’m destined to be alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I've heard some weird reasons before, but "My future self told me to" is a new one. FML
Today, my psychiatrist of 6 years suddenly and out of nowhere told me I need to see someone else. She gave me the equivalent of the "it's not you, it's me" speech. Actually her assistant told me via email. I basically got broken up with by someone I was paying a lot of money to talk to. FML
Today, a person who I've been talking to for months told me they were in a relationship with someone else. I work with this person and see them almost everyday. To top it off, they told me this over text. FML
Today, I had to leave my boyfriend because he was unfaithful. This is the third time in as many years. I'm starting to think I have "Cheat on me" written on my face. FML
Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently, the first time she thought I was kidding. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Maybe it is you...
the_zero_article 15
Maybe it's Maybelline
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Comments (93)
gogators941 11
Keep your head up!
DeadpoolsBitch 13
Don't worry about it OP....go to a nice happy hour with some friends and celebrate!
ooft 8
You're learning
CrazyToasterWTF 5
well, swiggityswooty, were you just coming fir their booty?
Vagitarian1 10
Ya think?
russfml 31
I'm George Costanza, I invented the it's not you it's me. You can't use that on me. I know it's definitely me then. Lmao sorry to say it, it must be you or you have to find someone more like minded
pptm 13
Maybe somebody elsa?
spikeismykitty 6
If your a girl next time say "yeah it's you tiny penis" If your a guy next time say "yeah it's you baggy used up pussy"
Thorzix 23
Most immature break up reaction ever. Grow up.
False_Stupidity 42
Maybe after dating you they realise that they cannot compare with your pure awesomeness and they dump you in shame at themselves.
TcheQ 12
Perhaps you're not a very nice person. Bad Hygiene. Terrible attitude. Ungroomed fugly features. Bland personality. Needy. Unattentive. Miserly. Exaggerating your self-worth, achievements or connections.