Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML
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Top comments
djdeathwish 0
When's your next party?!
StayClassy 0
So how was he?
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Comments (54)
meemz 0
should have just turned the FML to him by saying, im the host of the party, and u aint gonna sleep with me. ugly bastard.
katieatieay 0
#9, let this be your lesson on females for the day.
icanhazfmlz 0
Was it satisfying?
Easy_Target 0
Wow. That was unkind.
sensual_kidney 0
lol did you notch that? You are a ho and all
cheerleader25 0
it never said she was a hoe there are such things as rumors dude
noahmg10 5
haha yeah
Slim71 0
why are you saying FML? clearly you do that often if he heard you would sleep with anyone. So you must enjoy it.
Astrum14 24
Just because there's a rumor going around that someone will sleep with anyone doesn't make it actually true. People make shit up all the time. Could have been a vindictive ex, or a jealous "friend", or someone she turned down.
Eir_fml 1
I would have had the (possibly hard?) choice of making him pay with his winnings and possibly more, or doing something crushing as possible after finding out who his friends were. I kinda doubt I would have slept with him though, if I were in that place.
ridiculous_gnome 0
#17 has it covered in one word... but i also agree with the other guys... split the money while having some fun (well if you are really a ho)
bitch_fml 0
did you **** him? i bet you did. *****.
SecularHumanist 1
let me know when you are throwing your next party :D