Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after coming back from a trip to Africa where I got malaria, I went to the hospital for some blood tests. The doctor said, "Good news! You never had malaria! But they put you through a lot of dangerous treatments and now your liver has an anomaly." FML
Today, I found out why I get so red all over at parties. Turns out I'm allergic to alcohol. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML
Today, my physician, a known drunk himself, told me I was drinking too much and I should quit before my kidneys decide to divorce me and take the house and car with them. FML
Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML
Today, the guy I've been seeing decided to "test the theory" that I can't drink alcohol due to a liver condition by mixing some into my drinks. He then complained that my ceaseless vomiting made his bathroom smell bad, and only took me to hospital when I started having a seizure. FML
Today, after decades of 24/7 cognitive impairment and being made to feel like a hypochondriac by many doctors over the years, I learned I have a severe physical illness. I kept researching and discovered my own illness, found out which test to ask for, and finally showed doctors proof. FML
Today, I threw up due to food poisoning. Despite my fever and pain, my wife is completely convinced it was from secretly drinking, and I am now "PERMANENTLY FORBIDDEN" from drinking anything alcoholic. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor due to some gastric distress I have. I came out with directions to buy a blood pressure monitor, I'm prohibited from doing sports, and have a possible diagnosis of arterial hypertension which I am way too young to have. FML
Today, I finally went to the doctor for a condition I've had all my life. Turns out it was easily cured with a simple pill. I peed in my pants everyday for 27 years for nothing. FML
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Top comments
BlondePsycho 43
You can get liver problems if you mess around with pills. Same thing happened to my grandpa. Only one in my family who didn't drink a day in his life, but his doctors over-medicated him for a heart condition and he died from liver failure. I'd check any drugs you've been taking.
fatfaceunited 0
well now is the time to start!!!
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Comments (155)
lowfiwhiteguy 0
Well, virtually all liver diseases brought on by alcoholism are also brought on in individuals with extremely bad diets and the obese. High fat and cholesterol food content will **** your liver up just as bad as a drinking habit in no time... If your liver ended up pickled like this it's your own doing and your own fault.
greatnt249 0
"**** your life because you got a disease "generally" found in alcoholics? " No, **** his life because one GENERALLY doesn't expect to have the disease unless you've destroyed your liver through alcoholism; use half a ******* brain cell. "Seriously though, I submitted basically the same thing about epididymitis except Chlamydia causes 90 odd percent of cases. The alternate diagnosis is that I'm 12." Epididymitis can also be "blue balls" as well; may be an indicator that you need to start wanking it. "If your liver ended up pickled like this it's your own doing and your own fault." Seriously, dude...shut the **** up.
Funtertaining11 0
I'm sorry. Maybe you contracted it somehow in a rare way. I hope you get better:) & #2, you are an idiot & your comment was crass. I know that sometimes people tell the truth when they drink, but It's ignorant to say you don't trust people that don't drink; they're most likely more honest. ....ok, I put that wrong.
Always4tehlolz 0
ouch, ditto on #1
Djmh17 0
71 is a total idiot who Has probably never done anything worth talking about. Op, that sucks, but here's total proof that you're damned if you do, damned if you don't, so do! Don't live your life afraid of the consequences, because that's not living
totalbadass 0
#77 good one, did you come up with that all on your own?
mehwhateverr 0
I'm so sorry for you. I hope you get better ASAP. :]
mattmag 0
Lol #2. And #43, Buckie sounds like a good solution to this. Just think, you could've been drinking this whole time and nothing would change.
egaonogenki 0
You got the WRONG ONE! Medical records CAN get MIXED UP! I believe you have someone else's diagnosis!
jayfx 0
= hope you got the wrong report