Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML
Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML
Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML
Today, I told my dad to go to the doctor, as he’s been hacking his lungs up every minute for a month, and I've not had a decent night’s sleep since then. He insists he’s not sick, and my mom yelled at me because she sleeps in the same room and is able to sleep through it. FML
Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor pounding on her roof/my floor. I thought she was being a Karen and wanting me to be quiet, even though I wasn’t doing anything. I stomped back defiantly to make a point. Turns out she was having an asthma attack and was asking for help. Oops. FML
Today, my friend (she's 14) said she had lung cancer. This made me and my other friend very worried for her, but now we know she was faking it since when she was "at the hospital" she was at a friend's house, and her mom came to the school to confirm she was faking the whole thing. FML
Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML
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Top comments
Jenh42391 0
It was an honest mistake, obviously you didn't know so don't feel overly bad about it. But #4&5 I gotta say that that its pretty sick to wish death on someone...even if you're joking
R0nBurgundy 0
how did you know #4&5 comments if you're #2? Damn gypsy
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Comments (45)
RubyRedHead 0
Asshole.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
Not to say that I agree with their comment but they did say IF... Meaning that IF the lung cancer was caused by the woman smoking then basically she deserves it. You should read a bit more carefully before posting.
Subakie 20
OP's not slow, OP is busy thinking of him/herself
applemania_fml 0
Now u wonlt sleep
arsenicalhumor 30
*you won't. And OP was already not sleeping.
jonnyman 0
This is why I hate French people, you ignorant dick
rabbi1010 29
You couldn't have bought a fan to drown out the noise?
sartrow 8
your a pasty white idiot!
Epickitty58 29
Yeesh. That's awful. Why the **** would you say that?
Epickitty58 29
Now you know to always start that kind of conversation with "I'm sorry to bother you, but I've heard you coughing from my apartment next door for quite some time, and I wanted to check and see if there were any problems, and if I could help in any way."
bigbowlofcereal 3
Headphones bro