Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally put the finishing touches to a huge project after 8 months of gruelling work. My boss had used the promise of a 5-figure bonus to motivate me. When I casually brought the bonus up later in the day, my boss just said, "Gratitude's its own reward, Mike." FML
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML
Today, my boss sent me a message about a project, via WhatsApp. It's my day off, so I figured it could wait till I was able to give a flying fuck. Literally a minute later, he was spamming me, demanding to know why I'd left him as read and reminding me that he has firing powers. FML
Today, while battling a severe flu, I was forced to come to work by my manager. Upon arrival, I discovered that a colleague he likes who should be covering for me is out today. The reason? Her shoes hurt. FML
Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, all so there could be "someone to answer the phone." The phone didn't ring once all day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jessherself13 21
Bahhumbug, what a Scrooge. Seriously though, you have a heartless boss.
DocBastard 40
I would think after a memo like that you'd think to take precautions to avoid this exact scenario. That said, your boss is an asshole.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
DocBastard 40
I would think after a memo like that you'd think to take precautions to avoid this exact scenario. That said, your boss is an asshole.
Palirose 22
What Im wondering is...is the boss even allowed to do something like that legally??
BobbieH 19
Yes, bonuses can be calculated anyway they see fit as it is not part of regular compensation. Your eligibility is also subject to their preferences. Unless you have an employment contract that outlines the bonus, eligibility and method of calculation, bonuses can be given or not at will.
TheDrifter 24
It's a bonus, they decide who gets how much and why. It can be reviewed for any reason or no reason at all before it's actually paid.
skittyskatbrat 19
Your boss should get what he pays for, then. You're getting paid less than the other workers? Time to slow down the work and do the minimum. Loyalty is useless when a company treats its employees that badly. And, plus side? Who cares if you are a little bit late from now on? What's he going to do...take your bonus?
alycion 39
Constant lateness is a reason to get fired. The whole no bonus thing could be a response to employees getting in consistently 5 or 10 minutes late everyday. I worked in an office where the customer service department got lax with that. After they got in, it was another 30 minutes or so of them getting coffee and talking. Everyone was salaried there so essentially they were getting paid for not working. It was normal for this to start at the end of oct and continue through jan. Sometimes companies have to pull dick moves to get employees to hold up to what they were hired to do. I'm not sure what threat that department got, but it did work.
Zebediabolical 45
No it didn't. OP was late anyway!
awkwardloveannie 28
you should give yourself more time in the future, what if you boss has a little money left and was hoping you'd all slip once so he wouldn't have to give money out.. or keep it for himself that's also an option
parism143 28
Has anyone else noticed the OP's username?
Cyanhell 7
If you're early you're on time. If you're on time you're late. If you're late you're fired.
plagiarismo 16
I sense some Stalin-esque qualities from your boss. Or maybe he's just cheap. Either way.
MidnaLink 35
What the ****?!?!
sanecatlady 13
it's strange that people say "like a boss" as if it's a positive thing when most of the bosses mentioned on this site make Hitler look like a sweet old grandpa. :(
worldclassrager 41
Well get up earlier...problem solved...
chicme 9
love op's name though