Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML
Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML
Today, I seized in the shower, making me trip over the edge of the tub, which is when I then smashed my face against an open toilet and broke my nose. Thank you epilepsy. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML
Today, I actually had to reassure the girl I'm seeing that she can't "catch" my epilepsy. FML
Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML
Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. Having epilepsy, I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and smashed my face against an open toilet, breaking my nose. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Oh my god...you said "seizure" in front of someone with epilepsy? You're a terrible person! You should be beaten for that! Oh wait, that's insensitive to people who have been beaten. My apologies. I meant to say that you suck! No, that's insensitive to people who can't afford a vacuum. What I meant was, how could you be so stupid? Wait wait, that's insensitive to stupid people... See where I'm going with this, people? If you weren't so goddamned sensitive about every little thing wrong with you, people wouldn't have to worry so much about offending you. I'm not perfect at all, but I've learned to laugh at my own inadequacies and errors. Ultimately I'm happier and so is everyone around me.
doodlecloud 27
I dunno, I don't think that's really offensive, he must've known you weren't being malicious or anything. I have a heart condition and if someone told me they were having a heart attck in a similar sentence I wouldn't care, I doubt I'd even really register it as possibly offensive. Some phrases are, like saying your phone is 'being a spaz', but I don't think what OP said is anything bad. It's not derogatory.
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Comments (100)
mhopper 13
1. Open mouth. 2. Insert foot.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
3. Begin foot fetish.
zmiller96 2
Open mouth insert gun pull trigger solve problems
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Open mouth. Insert gun. Pull trigger. Get a pleasant blast of cool water in your mouth. Because blowing your brains out will only make a mess of things.
DocBastard 40
Oh my god...you said "seizure" in front of someone with epilepsy? You're a terrible person! You should be beaten for that! Oh wait, that's insensitive to people who have been beaten. My apologies. I meant to say that you suck! No, that's insensitive to people who can't afford a vacuum. What I meant was, how could you be so stupid? Wait wait, that's insensitive to stupid people... See where I'm going with this, people? If you weren't so goddamned sensitive about every little thing wrong with you, people wouldn't have to worry so much about offending you. I'm not perfect at all, but I've learned to laugh at my own inadequacies and errors. Ultimately I'm happier and so is everyone around me.
darwinism 30
Seem legit. Well said Bastard. Shit! Sorry, I meant to say Doc.
bankrupt 15
I completely agree with Docbastard. My daughter is retarded and every time I say that sentence someone gasps in horror. Why? I can say she is 'mentally challenged' but that is a longer way of saying retarded. You can call a rhinocerous a pearl, but it's still a rhinocerous. To use that trite phrase, it is what it is. If someone uses the word 'retarded,' that doesn't bother or offend me in the least.
mango260 9
To me the "R-word" is like the "N-word" and should be moved from everyone vocabulary.it's just rude!
GuessWhatKids 13
Nigga you bein a retard. Words are only offensive because you react to them that way. Stop being so literal; adapt to modern slang and get a sense of intent and you'll be doing yourself and everyone a favor.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
But that's like saying that if someone slings the word "n*gger" around I shouldn't be offended?
SimplyEerb 3
I'm sure anyone can understand that a saying like that is part of today's lingo and wasn't intended to be offensive.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
It happens :/ my friend has depression and sometimes I accidentally say "thats depressing" in front of her but shes an awesome friend and forgives me.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You really put your foot in your mouth this time, OP. Real smooth.
TheFamilyElf 17
Oh goodness, OP. I know how you feel. One of the first times I hung out with my friend, I made a joke about how something I was using was "having a seizure." imagine how far into my mouth my foot went when he said, "...my brother had a seizure once.." However, he understood how often the saying is used, and ended up becoming my boyfriend, so hopefully your boss won't overreact and will understand that you weren't trying to offend him! Also, as the doc mentioned earlier, people can't be so sensitive. It's not like you said "my phone's being so stupid, it's almost as stupid as people that have seizures." It's an awkward moment, but you'll be fine:)
TheFamilyElf 17
edit: I know some people are more sensitive than others, which is ok. just try to know who you're talking to. There's a good chance your boss won't be too offended:)
CaramelMacchiato 13
Amen!
KYLEW72 3
That blows
OfficeNinja 5
Could have been worse. You could have been a commercial passenger jet captain and announced over the intercom "damn thing is crashing".
Lionesse 15
If it was on purpose then that was insensitive but if it wasn't, understand we all have times when we want to stick our foot in our mouth. Just shrug it off and apologize either way :)
dextermorgan2006 2
That was really stupid...seizures suck. (I used to have seizures every 5 minutes)