Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML
Today, after months of my girlfriend crying about cockroaches, I finally called and paid for an exterminator. Now she's furious at me for "making decisions for her" and she keeps pointing out that, since she owns the house, what I did was technically illegal. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML
Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Today, I’ve lived in my apartment for more than five years and never had more than the occasional housefly. Three months after I got new downstairs neighbors I’ve been hit with a massive roach infestation, and they decided to bring their lovely ant friends with them. FML
Today, I've lived in my apartment for over 5 years with no bugs, as I'm phobic of them. I broke up with my ex, who smirked at me and declared war. I now have thousands of roaches that I can't get rid of. Coincidence? FML
Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML
Today, for the third day in a row, I have been volunteered to kill and dispose of the bugs entering my apartment. I live with two "manly" men who can't use a flyswatter. FML
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Top comments
SilverGTP99 8
Kill them anyway?
Welshite 40
I don't care if they don't want cockroaches to die; I would go nuclear on those nasty creatures.
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Comments (230)
gracehi 33
1) Find somewhere else to live 2) Pack your things 3) Step on a cockroach in front of them 4) Leave
iTsbSkuLLy 8
Lure them out. Then OBLITERATE THEM ONCE THEY ARE OUT OF THE SAFE ZONE WITH YOUR RAY GUN MUHAHAHAHAH, an u should really look into another place.
CyborgBanana 12
Pla? PLA?!? My god man, finish your sentence, I need to know what you mean!
ImTheAlpha 30
Cockroaches are actually very clean creatures. They made sure to get rid of lice, fleas, ticks, etc, before mankind decided that they didn't need to be clean and tried to kick them out.
Welshite 40
Cockroaches are NOT clean creatures. If there is a large infestation, you can actually see the tracks of excrement they leave. They are disgusting, and a sign that the area is not a sanitary place.
whogivesafuck88 10
You are an idiot 15
evilplatypus 39
Cockroaches carry and pass on to humans dysentery, typhoid and poliomyelitis. But I guess you think that's ok because they eat other bugs? I think I'd rather lice over dysentery any day of the week.
ambowew 7
They feed on human and pet food, and can leave an offensive odor. They can also passively transport microbes on their body surfaces including those that are potentially dangerous to humans, particularly in environments such as hospitals. Cockroaches have been shown to be linked with allergic reactions in humans. Looks like Wiki is backing up how deliciously clean those cockroaches are. That shit is legit!
desireev 18
You, ma'am, are very mistaken. Cockroaches are nothing short of filth and disgust. They carry diseases on them, leave their feces all over everything, and are extremely harmful to humans and other animals. An extreme infestation can kill the children and infants in the home. Let alone, the horrid smell, the unbeatable, unclean surfaces in the home, and the nasty rashes they'll leave on your skin. Point being that there is nothing clean about roaches!
outoftown 27
#15, After they have wiped their feet on your lunch meat, get back to us about how clean they are.
SenselessPattern 12
Nothing says you're wrong like 5 replies and a reference to wikipedia! :)
BunchieRules 31
Relax, fellow commentators. 14 has obviously never even seen a real cockroach, or she'd know how disgusting they actually are.
Enslaved 38
Catch the roaches and put them in their beds.
kiraleann 16
This is one of those times where it is okay to say "**** you", and start killing them anyway.
Missusluv313 9
You took the words right out of my mouth. That's exactly what I would say and do.
aniforprez 9
And one morning, as they woke up, they felt something soft in their sheets. Not knowing what it was, with great dread, they pulled the sheet. The sight left them filled with horror and they screamed the scream of the terrified as they witnessed the unending heap of dead cockroaches at their bed. And at the top, was a note with one solitary word 'Adios''.
skyeyez9 25
Or superglue all the dead roaches to the ceiling, hang them all up there by string (like the scene in the movie Seven, except instead of air fresheners use the roaches).
ohSNAPyall 27
Ani, you rock. Comment more often.
superguppy19 3
Should deport them to the park and not kill them convince the vegans that way
Zomg_Okay 27
Most likely, they'd object to that on the grounds that you don't have to right to determine where the roaches can or cannot live.
annie_nk 23
Don't have the "right" to kill roaches? Well that would out a lot of exterminators out of work.
hellya14 0
What about your rights?
captainObviously 15
Tell them that someone is hurting baby seals at the local mall, and invite the terminator over.
SkoomaKi 28
You can call the terminator over?! Oh yes, now the fun begins.