Today, after creating a swear jar for my son, I came back to find a $20 bill in it and him saying, "How much does that buy?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML
Today, my 6 year-old told me that he was stealing the fan I just bought. I told him he could have it for $25. He said, "What, you think I’m made of money?" My response was, "Well, you think I’m made of money." He replied, "Isn’t that what MOM stands for?" FML
Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML
Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, as my 12-hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TwoLeggedFish 5
That is kind of genius actually
species4872 20
That's what I like, good anticipation for the worst.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
hellnosucka 27
Damn. I think you're raising a politician.
intreker05 5
Probably a good idea to talk to him about context. The fact is, your kid is probably never going to stop swearing, no matter what you take away. If he doesn't do it around you, he'll do it somewhere. Talk to him about the fact that there are some appropriate places where you can use language like that (around friends, in private settings, etc) and there are some places that aren't appropriate. I work at a hospital, so sometimes I swear around coworkers but I make sure not to do so where patients or their families can hear. It's all about situational awareness and learning about real consequences.
evilplatypus 39
Studies show you're wrong here, OP. Creating monetary punishments makes people believe they can acceptably "buy" bad behavior rather than correct it - exactly as your son has proven.
Frid_Kun 7
Its not "bad" behavior if it doesn't actually hurt anyone.
novdestiny 23
your kid's got too much money!
ThePaperDragon 31
It would seem to be a great opportunity to introduce him to the concept of budgeting.
Bluepies 24
Sounds like a reasonable response to me. You're the one that opened the door, and he walked through. Similarly, "My house, my rules" translates to "If you don't like it, I encourage you to run away."
Attacksloth 33
To all taking moral high grounds on this witty kid: Have you never been a teenager before? Untwist your knickers.
bsshooter 14
due to inflation, that gets you either -20 ***** as the cost of shit/p dollar became 1:1 -16 damns at a cost ratio of 1:1.25 -10 **** at a price of 1:2
Frid_Kun 7
you poor thing. my condolences, your upbringing must have been harsh.
candacewho 4
I never understood the reason we have "bad" words and "good" words. Words are words and if someone is using the word "*******" to say how ******* awesome something is, then why is it such a problem? And insults can be just as insulting without swearing, so just let the kid swear I say.