Today, after creating a swear jar for my son, I came back to find a $20 bill in it and him saying, "How much does that buy?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML
Today, my 6 year-old told me that he was stealing the fan I just bought. I told him he could have it for $25. He said, "What, you think I’m made of money?" My response was, "Well, you think I’m made of money." He replied, "Isn’t that what MOM stands for?" FML
Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML
Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, as my 12-hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML
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Top comments
TwoLeggedFish 5
That is kind of genius actually
species4872 20
That's what I like, good anticipation for the worst.
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Comments (43)
NehNehPwn 20
I still don't understand the concept of why some words, for no good reason, are considered "bad". It's a word, get over it.
lovelesslm 12
Slurs are "just words" yet I'm pretty sure a lot of people would disagree with you if you were to tell them "get over it."
momogal 22
Swear words only got labeled as profanity because the Church considered it to a blasphemous act and offensive to God. 16, there is difference between words used to hurt and normal profanity. For example, "What the f**k?!" should not be offensive as it is merely an exclamation. "F**k you!" would be considered offensive because it is meant as an insult to an individual.
DoomedGemini 38
Slurs are meant to hurt people, how can you even ******* compare them?? They are aimed towards people who have been the target of hatred and probably worse things. It has all that attached to it. ****, damn, shit any of those have something like that attached to them?
Zelda9678 11
Tell him "one". And don't let him take the money back
trucker2 33
Looks like the price goes up, $1.00 per word.... He'll be broke in no time....
trucker2 33
Here's one for you OP- everyday after school make him write out a page of cuss words front and back- can not repeat a word- at the end of the week any word left off- are words he can say no punishment- and you have a well thought out list to collect on !!!
ThrottleJockey 36
Ditto, I would've been sucking on a bar of soap before I'd finished uttering the last syllable. I would've also felt the wrath of a large wooden spoon on my back side.
spbusby 11
it's ok, the jar will still work. if he gets conscious about how much he swears he could kick the habit. Keep up with it and count every time he does it out loud non judgementally, and then keep charging him.
deathshead 19
don't ******* count on it! I was a living testament to "swearing like a sailor" (besides the fact that I'm not a sailor) and I have tried to reform, with some success, but I can still kick some serious ass without even trying when it comes to rattling off swear words
Muppet_B 3
It buys the online trailer to the new movie Bad Santa 2 - at the going rate of $1 per F#.
shitstorm28 11
Now you get to set the price. "one." and if he doesn't have another 20, chores.
Saraishi 25
Clever little bugger. It's not the lesson in consequences you intended but you can't argue with his logic.
kowsee 22
I'd say 'I think that's a ******* good start' ;)