Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML
Today, I tried to carry all my grocery bags in one trip. I was doing great until the plastic handles stretched and snapped in the parking lot. A carton of eggs exploded, an avocado rolled under a car, and a bottle of wine shattered. Someone asked if I needed help. I said no because I was too embarrassed. FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I walked out of the grocery store, loaded my bags into my car, then sat in the driver’s seat. I tried to start the engine, but the key wouldn’t turn. That’s when I noticed the child’s seat in the back, which I don’t have. I was in the wrong car, and the owner was standing outside, laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to the store for one thing: eggs. I came out with eggs, a new plant I didn’t need, and a jar of pickles that I’ll never eat. At least the eggs didn’t roll out of the bag this time, especially now they're practically considered a luxury item. FML
Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML
Today, I bought a cake. I then immediately forgot what I was carrying, opened the door to my car, and tossed the bag into the back seat. FML
Today, I spent way too long trying to figure out why my car smelled like rotten eggs. I took it to a mechanic, who pulled out an entire hard-boiled egg from a hidden compartment under the back seat. Turns out my nephew hid it there a week ago as part of a “science experiment.” FML
Today, I helped my neighbor carry her groceries upstairs. One egg carton slipped from my hand and exploded in the sink. She stared at the mess, then at me, and said, “That's my omelet down the drain.” FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
lexie206 0
store bought eggs can't be hatched just FYI
r0ck_this 0
this was funny because i can see myself doing this. i also think it;s funny that everyone is being so my-shit-dont-stink like they have never had a moment like this before in their life. makes you wonder what they think when a moment like this actually DOES occur .... they probably blame it on someone else. at least we can laugh at our mistakes after accepting them as our own, haha. (:
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Comments (50)
ferdte 0
I say you return the eggs!! lol
rhanana 0
egg-cellent, now you have chicken period and shards of shell all over your ass.
raaandy 0
no egg on my face!!
macc55 2
thats eggorific!!!!
erjaguam 0
sad :(
liloneex3 0
put them in the backseat next time.
dzerzhinsky 0
YDI for being neurotic
deevosee 0
a flickering light caused you to be pissed off and you blame it on that? YDI for sure.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
"I don't think you're happy enough. That's right! I'll teach you to be happy. I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs."
CyclonePsycho 1
I love you. So much. So much that it hurts.
cameron1793 0
you are a fucktard