Today, I just moved to a new house so I was looking for new jogging routes. I ended up in an area I was unaware was a big dogging hotspot. Two couples invited me to threesomes, and when I said no and tried to leave, I had stones and litter thrown at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, I wanted to take my wife and kids to visit some of my favorite hiking trails while visiting my hometown. It would’ve been great, had it not been for the fact that several horny perverts think fucking outside is a great idea. We stumbled upon at least three couples out in the open before giving up. FML
Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, some of my buddies were playing truth or dare. As I got to the group, one guy was dared to ding dong ditch. He did so, and the owner of the house let his big ol' dog out to chase us. It only ran after me the whole time. FML
Today, I was stopped from jogging by a group of joggers who said they’re a paid membership group from a HOA so I can’t run near them unless I’m also a member. When I rightfully told them to tongue kiss my asshole, they joined hands across the street and the road to stop me from running past them. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
That's out of order! Consent is important
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Comments (1)
GoogieWithers 25
That's out of order! Consent is important