Today, while preparing to move into my dorm, I received two e-mails from the campus police. The first stated that there had been 76 overdoses from a synthetic drug reported around campus this week and the second said there had been a stabbing on campus this morning. Happy back to school to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
Today, I had my first trauma nightmare, about my classmates who had drugs planted on them so the police officers could abuse them for being queer. It's been 16 years since high school. FML
Today, I got to school and my stuff was searched by a police officer, which isn't normal. As I walked to my locker, there were several more police officers patrolling the hallways. Turns out a VERY troubled kid who was expelled last year had issued a threat, so they're taking excessive precautions. This is America. FML
Today, I was suspended for "selling drugs on campus". I was trying to give the school nurse approved medication for my severe epilepsy. I'm suspended for 3 weeks and have to go to a drug seminar. FML
Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML
Today, I was startled awake by some overzealous do-gooder trying to shove Narcan up my nose. I wasn’t OD’ing. I don’t even do drugs. I’m just an exhausted full-time student with a night job trying to get home on the bus. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
Wow well stay away from party's and get some mace and be safe 😊
Zekfen 17
Drugs are bad mmmkay? If you don’t do drugs, that shouldn’t worry you. Now the stabbing on the other hand, be aware of your surroundings and if somebody looks at you funny blow your rape whistle.
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Comments (14)
Charlie Given 28
Wow well stay away from party's and get some mace and be safe 😊
Zekfen 17
Drugs are bad mmmkay? If you don’t do drugs, that shouldn’t worry you. Now the stabbing on the other hand, be aware of your surroundings and if somebody looks at you funny blow your rape whistle.
mikewang1526 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
777uh7u 不nb。Aw了（片z
adelaine782002 17
wtf?🤔🤔🤣
devi_916 39
Where the hell do you go to school?
chickensheep 15
Let me guess... ‘Murica?
CerealBro1 13
My first week back at college this semester there was an arsonist at my school, just lighting fires in several different bathrooms around campus. These are all things well look back on and laugh at I think
superlloyd 15
you picked the school. the crime statistics are oublic information. lesson learn, pay more attention, be more responsible.
MrCT 22
Are you going to school in New Haven, Ct?
gk222 10
I was going to ask this?
BurnInDemonFire 39
I remember my school days... saluting a flag... being told God is real, and being gay will send you to Hell... oh, and shit like this. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
interesting33 37
so-called : legal highs'. not legal and in many ways even more dangerous than 'mainstream' drugs.