Today, I'm getting married in a week. I was sashaying around the kitchen talking to my friend on the phone, saying, "No more diets, no more blowjobs, and if he complains I get half his money!" when I turned and saw my fiancé in the door. He won't believe that it was a joke and now wants a prenup. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I talked with my fiance about our wedding. He drew up a prenuptial agreement. One of the provisions said that if I ever go vegetarian or vegan, we immediately divorce and I get nothing. I thought it was a joke and laughed. He was deadly serious. FML
Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML
Today, I went to pick up my wedding dress from the seamstress, only to find out that my fiancé called two weeks ago to say I wanted the dress "tie-dyed to match our new theme." She believed him. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML
Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as "he girl I'm going to marry." His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML
Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he's prepared to commit to marriage, but only if I buy my own ring and tell everyone he surprised me with it. FML
Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML
Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stickyface 17
Your character is who you are when you think nobody is watching. Oops, this one will cost you.
JackWood 21
Every joke has an element of truth. Don't play with love.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
stickyface 17
Your character is who you are when you think nobody is watching. Oops, this one will cost you.
Battousai124 9
More than likely the marriage is not going to take place
JackWood 21
Every joke has an element of truth. Don't play with love.
DLBL 23
I don't think she was joking, really. Ew. I hope the man backs out. I mean, if she says that OUT LOUD, what awful things does she NOT say?!
BurnInDemonFire 39
I wouldn't care about the diets and ********, but being so quick to head down the "divorce" route because of a complaint? Forget the pre-nup, your ass is going straight back to Tinder. And your legs will no doubt resemble cardinal points on a compass.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Be glad he only wants a prenup and not a new fiance.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Sounds like it only became a joke the second you got caught. So since a month has passed, did you sign one?