Today, as I continue to experience more revelations about how fucked up my mental and physical health really are, I'm starting to feel as though I was destined to not live very long. If I were to list every mental health issue or chronic condition I have, it would likely be enough for an entire Wikipedia article. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after decades of 24/7 cognitive impairment and being made to feel like a hypochondriac by many doctors over the years, I learned I have a severe physical illness. I kept researching and discovered my own illness, found out which test to ask for, and finally showed doctors proof. FML
Today, I found out that I have a chronic illness that has affected my brain function, heart and nervous system, and basically leaves me cognitively impaired daily and ruined my quality of life. Apparently it wasn’t just “all in my head” like so many neurologists claimed over the past two decades. FML
Today, I was told by a doctor in no uncertain terms that, with all of my mental and physical health conditions and personality disorders, there is, "absolutely no way I can possibly live a normal life, unless a miracle occurs." Well, I guess I'll just go fuck myself, then. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with my seventh chronic illness. My body and life are getting progressively more uncomfortable, painful, exhausting, and difficult. I'm starting to wish one of them was lethal. FML
Today, after three years of being in physical pain, which affects my health and daily life, I was told it's an undiagnosable condition that I'll have to deal with for a long time, as there are no answers and no fixable solution. FML
Today, my health is such a wreck that I’m not even sure if my main problem is mental or physical. To find out, I’d need health insurance. To get that, I’d need a job. To find a job, I’d need to be way less of a wreck. I’m in that state where you’re proud to have actually gotten out of bed each day. FML
Today, I realized that my mental health is in the crapper because of the steroid I was prescribed for my severe inflammation. I'm not even 30, and my choices are to either be so mentally messed up that I can barely function, or in so much pain that I can't even look over my shoulder. FML
Today, I did the math: I have suffered from crippling depression for a third of my entire existence. FML
Today, I, an extreme social introvert, who can’t stand being around people for more than 10 minutes, has just been diagnosed with an incurable brain disorder that will increasingly require other people to be around me to monitor me and run my life. All of which, to me, feels worse than having the disorder. FML
Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, and that I should Google the disorder because he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML
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Top comments
xaddrus 17
i feel like if i went to the therapist and was honest about all the shit in my head then i would be sent to an asylum. where i would indefinitely stay
FluffythePink 23
As an owner of a brick thick medical and mental health file, I feel ya. Sometimes you just have to focus on what isn't wrong and try to feel grateful for that, at least. Even if it's just 'yay, my fingers work today'. She says, having to use a stylus to type... 🙄 You aren't alone 💋
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Comments (3)
xaddrus 17
i feel like if i went to the therapist and was honest about all the shit in my head then i would be sent to an asylum. where i would indefinitely stay
FluffythePink 23
As an owner of a brick thick medical and mental health file, I feel ya. Sometimes you just have to focus on what isn't wrong and try to feel grateful for that, at least. Even if it's just 'yay, my fingers work today'. She says, having to use a stylus to type... 🙄 You aren't alone 💋
tiptoppc 21
I’m in a similar boat, now hitting stage 4 renel disease. Too many illnesses have led to my cabinet having a larger stock on hand than an entire pharmacy. All (mostly) due to an auto-immune illness that I got at 16 after contracting Hanta Virus. 22 years later, And I’ve got heart issues, dying kidneys, back spine issues, 4 TBIs, memory issues, blood pressure that can kill a horse (i’m 5’ 10”, 162lbs.). It sucks, but I am grateful when those good days come by i can spend with family and friends (plus a very caring spouse). Enjoy the little things.