Today, a friend moved into my new house. He was a great roommate years ago, but COVID seems to have driven him mad. He brought a huge stockpile of non-perishable food, and keeps talking about "fortifying" the house. He's trying to build a composting outhouse right now. Send help. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it’s been two weeks since my partner invited his sad sack best friend to temporarily move in. I hate his guts. Apparently his mother’s house, which he still lived in, has mold damage and they don’t know how long it will take to repair. Oh, and his quack doctor prescribed him literal dirt to eat. FML
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, after moving in with a friend I've known for 9 years, I found out he's going to jail soon, and refuses to work or get a new job, making me unable to pay rent as he eats all my food. FML
Today, my former boss, a landlord, came through on his "parting gift" to me. I thought he was joking when he said he'd send a deranged tenant of ours cross-country by bus to stay with me for a week. It wasn't a joke. Send help. FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML
Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
Today, for the third time in less than a week, my dumbass roommate has a bunch of friends over. None of them are wearing masks and I don't feel comfortable leaving my room. I'm fucking starving and can't go to the kitchen to get food. The idiot is a fucking nursing major. FML
Today, it's been two days since firefighters broke into my friend's home to get her out. She has health issues rendering her disabled and immobile. She was living amongst her own feces and urine, mould, rats eating her feet, etc. She told me about the filth three days ago, and now blames me for everything since. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Tough situation. Don’t let your friend make any modifications to your new place or you very likely will regret it. (1) When people feel powerless in the face of hard times like this pandemic has been, they can react in strange ways as they try to regain some sense of control and safety. I wish I could say your friend will get back to normal soon, but many people who went through the Great Depression were changed by that and never got over it. So there is no guarantee that your former and present roommate is ever going to get back to “normal.” (2) People change. Sometimes people we had things in common with before are no longer a good fit as a friend or roommate. You have to figure out if you can manage your friend’s paranoia, or if it’s even worth dealing with. You may have to cut them loose before they reduce the value and appearance of your home.
D J's MOM 17
your house your rules. if he doesn't like it, show him the door.
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Comments (4)
Chazzster 32
Tough situation. Don’t let your friend make any modifications to your new place or you very likely will regret it. (1) When people feel powerless in the face of hard times like this pandemic has been, they can react in strange ways as they try to regain some sense of control and safety. I wish I could say your friend will get back to normal soon, but many people who went through the Great Depression were changed by that and never got over it. So there is no guarantee that your former and present roommate is ever going to get back to “normal.” (2) People change. Sometimes people we had things in common with before are no longer a good fit as a friend or roommate. You have to figure out if you can manage your friend’s paranoia, or if it’s even worth dealing with. You may have to cut them loose before they reduce the value and appearance of your home.
RichardPencil 32
What do you need? Guns? Ammo? A generator? Fuel? What kind of help do you need fortifying your house? Lots of us were caught vulnerable by the pandemic -- can't let that happen again!
Yudith 28
Maybe help in how to connect the composting outhouse to the house so you don't have to be attacked by Covid-zombies when you visit it?
D J's MOM 17
your house your rules. if he doesn't like it, show him the door.
ImGladImNotU 16
Kick him out before he can claim squatters rights