Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. Some kids started fighting and screaming at each other, so I leaned next to her and said, "Man, am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML
Today, I took my kids to the park. I saw my daughter playing with a kid who looked familiar. Turns out he was my ex’s son, whom I haven’t seen in years. I thought it was cute they played so well together, until my ex’s new girlfriend came over, screaming that I was trying to use my kid to get to her man. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, I was at our local park and saw what I thought was my sister holding her baby. I walked up behind her, kissed her on the head, and said, “You’re such a good mum.” It was very much not my sister. It was a very confused and now probably traumatised stranger. FML
Today, at the park, a woman asked if I could watch her toddler for a second while she ran to the bathroom. Before I could answer, she ran off. Ten minutes later, a police officer approached me because someone reported a "man lurking with a child." I’m a woman. And not the babysitter. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML
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Top comments
ddeathbombb 5
Tell her "well it's my child now"
bwzwally8 15
Be a real woman and face the problem.
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Comments (78)
carapherneliaa 7
Maybe some better supervision on your part would be helpful.
anabelgraceaxton_fml 15
Next time, just be honest, it'll save embarrassment.
fuzz97 23
You are a terrible parent and you should be ashamed
cuponoodles34 10
problem child
katt_is_here 24
Hmmm...I wonder where your kid learned it? Hmmmmmmmmmm..... Be a real mom and take responsibility for your kid. I wonder how your kid would feel if he/she found out you were so embarrassed by them that you denied you were their mom. BE A PARENT! Kids are not a fashion accessory.
cognauticcreix 9
You tried to shrug ownership of your child in order to save face in front of someone you don't even know? Are you serious?
cheezepoof2002 4
Your child is a dominant leader type. Be proud. People who are scared to fight for what they want but feel they deserve respect use the term bully to make their life easier.
halluciNAYtion 6
I hate fmls like this. I will not pity someone who will deny their child. OP, you're scum.
DumbingOfAmerica 9
Just own up to it. Why would you deny your own child!
Ariana386 3
Ha! I can't say I haven't tried to deny my kid! Once in a grocery store my child shouted out to the slow-moving cashier to "hurry up before I get any older". It's funny NOW, but I was mortified at the time. lol