Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML
Today, I showed up for my first shift in my new night job; I now work at an apartment complex during the day and at a gas station at night. It turns out that our biggest problem tenant in the former happens to be my boss in the latter. FML
Today, I went to a Nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming, "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Today, at work as a cashier, a guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said, "Oh shit, I forgot my wallet!" and walked off. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
biancagolden 0
You were doing your job. Can't fault you!
ActionManly 11
YDI for not getting to work on time on your first day. That sends a very bad impression, and like you just proved can lead to bad consequences.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (37)
czechmate 0
YDI for being late and not meeting the owner. If you had the ounce of responsibility it takes to show up on time to work on your first day, you wouldnt be in this situation.
nishman686 0
just proves that you take your job seriously
Qface 0
Uhh... nevermind... can only edit, not remove, please bury this.
srak 0
you were just doing your job, that drunk **** should be happy to have you
Necro777 0
you deserve it for being late.
harahune 0
Being the boss doesn't mean you get to come in to work drunk. Report him to human resources.
lil_cig 0
At least he knows you're an effective bouncer :D
HAARP_fml 0
What a faggit. he didn't tell you he was the owner? FYL
bugmenotmofo 34
LOL, that's really bad luck. Probably, this will have taught you not to be late on your first day! Anyway, it's been a hilarious read. :)
cmac86 24
at least you showed him that you are taking your job seriously.