Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
Today, my coworker called out for the sixth time in two weeks with no reason, while my manager was out until noon. It was just the three of us in my department. He’s had zero repercussions and has been doing this for months. They threatened to fire me for taking five minutes in the bathroom. FML
Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML
Today, I got disciplined for sleeping on night shifts, by my boss, who also sleeps on night shifts. FML
Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't stop looking at my phone while working. I work in the back room, and there is no clock in there. I look at my phone to check the time. That way I know how long I have left in that hellhole. FML
Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML
Today, I decided to stand up to my bosses for making me lose money and work with heat stroke... while my co worker got to go home early I had to work 2 hours later. Turns out I got a supervisor in trouble for making me work when there was help allocated. Now I have to walk on eggshells, FML
Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Is that even legal? I honestly don't know if he can do that.
yetanotherginger 19
Well, that's a pisser
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
ownthebanks 8
It's illegal to make you clock out for a restroom break.
TheAngryPrincess 3
Dumb..
littlelovee 7
buy a pack of smokes
an3ph 20
Eargarettes. That's your answer. Dilbert has a brilliant comic about it.
wrenavery90 12
How does your boss even know whether you're peeing or smoking?