Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Only two remained unbroken. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my first day at a new job as a waitress for a wedding function centre. As I was opening the door to collect dirty plates from the guests, I bumped into a colleague carrying a tray full of full champagne glasses, all of which fell and smashed on the floor. FML
Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML
Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML
Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML
Today, I volunteered to tend bar at a friend's charity event. I was called incompetent and had a drink thrown at me for stirring a martini instead of shaking "like they do in James Bond". I've been tending bar for 30 years and have never had a drink thrown at me before. FML
Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
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Top comments
Trupe 3
Hell of a night huh? There's always an excuse.....
imsosleepy 9
Hey, at least two are still fine!
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Comments (119)
Sheffie 0
Dude, that takes talent.
heyitsbrittany 0
this seriously sounds like something I would do. I completely sympathize.
skgirl 0
if it alters state of mind it's considered a drug but marjuana is a natrual form of life that is appearently a drug but it isn't like it does much it's not bad it's just relaxs state of mind
softball_chick6 0
that sucks!
JEEP67 0
wow.. *** your life in da monkey butt
xchase508 0
haha
fmlxxreaderx 0
1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, floor, 5 tequila, 6 tequila maybe 7 more ? :)
the_flirtt 0
that's it, that's weak ;)
Jacob_04 0
everything happens for a reason, don't worry.
sandra143 0
agreed!
stlphil 0
Agreed with 89 - don't sweat the small stuff.
devv182 0
*******!!
the_flirtt 0
^ ftw