Today, I got excited over a canceled booty call, just so I wouldn't have to clean the apartment. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I spent an hour cleaning my apartment because I thought I had a date coming over. Right as they were supposed to arrive, they canceled because they “got too tired.” Now it’s just me, alone in a spotless apartment, watching a terrible documentary on Netflix. FML
Today, I spent three hours cleaning my apartment for a date. I then took a nap, only to wake up to find my cat had destroyed the place. Lucky for me, my date never showed up, and I ended the evening drinking Prosecco while sadly swiping through Tinder. FML
Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days, which means I'll be able to deep clean the house. FML
Today, I spent the day cleaning my apartment because my parents are visiting on Monday. I finally finished at midnight and went to bed exhausted. Then my mother called to say they couldn't make it after all. FML
Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML
Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML
Today, in an effort to actually be productive for once, I decided to clean out my closet. However, I ended up getting distracted by old photos, started crying over past relationships and dead pets, and didn't end up getting anything done whatsoever. FML
Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job, and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online instead. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Today, while on vacation, I found out that my boyfriend moved out. He had claimed that he couldn't come with me because his boss messed up his time off request, and for the last two days he said he'd been "cleaning". FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You clean an apartment for a first date, not a booty call. Evidently, the calling booty is not that hot.
azouwa 26
No judgement here. I'm the same way.
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Comments (11)
GhostFox 34
-snort- This sounds like a "You might have depression if..." joke.
RichardPencil 32
You clean an apartment for a first date, not a booty call. Evidently, the calling booty is not that hot.
Magnoxidans 19
Sounds like you need to find a booty call worth cleaning for.
Lobby_Bee 18
You have issues, serious issues.
azouwa 26
No judgement here. I'm the same way.
bigtwobah 6
Booty calls don't need to really see the apartment, just keep the lights dim and usher them into the bedroom.
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Booty call? What were you having pirates over?
ArbiterOfFML 24
Yay, total avoidance of all task. In the glory you bask.
Neror 13
You don't need a clean apartment for a booty call. As long as your personal areas are clean.
D-MacOPsquad 15
He has the right priorities in life, I do believe.