Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days, which means I'll be able to deep clean the house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML
Today, at home, I always do my share of the chores. I just got back from a business trip and it turns out that I actually do ALL the chores. My wife was alone for 9 days, the kitchen was a in state, dirty laundry everywhere, cat litter box overflowing onto the floor, and the bathroom was fucking disgusting. FML
Today, I moved out a few weeks ago because I was sick of my husband not helping around the house, and told him he’d never manage without me. I checked today while he was at work. The house is the cleanest I’ve ever seen it; apparently he doesn’t need me and most of the mess was actually mine. FML
Today, I'm on my sixth straight day of double shifts, with four more to go. I make overtime so I'm not complaining, but today my wife texted me, "Going out of town tonight, I expect the house to be spotless when I return." Not sure how I'm going to swing this one. FML
Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, I got excited over a canceled booty call, just so I wouldn't have to clean the apartment. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Today, I returned home early from a week away for work. I was worried about my husband's mental health after a week alone with our two ADD kids. He wasn’t expecting me, but I was surprised to see the house cleaner than it had ever been, and our children happily reading on the couch. How did he do that? FML
Today, I realized I'm so tired of cleaning houses all day to come home to a dirty house that I don't have the energy to clean. I need to hire my own cleaning lady. FML
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Top comments
kenzier513 8
i only clicked you deserved it because every woman deserves 5 days by herself every once in awhile! lol
RememberSchlitz 9
I know, right! When my wife goes off on business I do the same thing, but in reverse.
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Comments (28)
RememberSchlitz 9
I know, right! When my wife goes off on business I do the same thing, but in reverse.
amsterdamgirl 20
Hahaha! ...... hihihi....
False_Stupidity 42
Ahh, so you walk around backwards cleaning the house? That's talent!
kenzier513 8
i only clicked you deserved it because every woman deserves 5 days by herself every once in awhile! lol
Turtle_Man 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And men don't, number 2?
hellobobismyname 24
18 - Don't create an issue over nothing. 2 never said that.
chuka81 27
How will you know you're alive and still on earth if people don't create issues at the slightest chance?
george_s_4 32
Hey at least your house will be cleaned Better than putting off cleaning and having a disgusting house. Maybe when you go on a trip your husband can clean if its needed
moodyreallyrocks 27
Wishes come true..
janderson416 16
Hire a cleaner and go somewhere fun to relax!
Sanosukeskitten 22
I understand this! When my 18 month old goes away for a night or two, and it's a weekday where hubby works from 2 in the morning to 5 at night, I go insane cleaning! Best time to do it :3 Good luck with your cleaning! Get that stuff done! :D And don't forget to reward yourself after! A nice, hot, steaming shower :3 or whatever you please.
sturschaedel 27
I think after deep cleaning a whole house, a day-long trip to the spa is in order ;)
DLBL 23
To each their own, but I would spend the spa money on a professional house cleaner. :)
Sanosukeskitten 22
Oh goodness yes :D A spa day, hot shower, massage, a hot cup of tea with a book. A little me time is indeed in order!
OtakuTaco 15
How is this an FML?
james_logan 19
Are you by any chance Monica Gellar-Bing?
ThrottleJockey 36
You, sir, have an awesome beard! But remember; with great beard comes great responsibility.
amsterdamgirl 20
I think she is too! lol
QueenBeeGotStung 24
I'm exactly the same every time my slob housemate leaves for a few days. It's the only chance I get to clean without them coming and ruining it half way through xD
mnshdw818 3
That's so funny!!! My husband and children are away this week visiting my in-laws and I'm doing the exact same thing! I was so excited to be able to deep clean everything uninterrupted. I miss them terribly, but I'm so happy to have a thoroughly clean house.