Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a night club, I was wearing a brand new outfit that I absolutely loved. I was enjoying myself until I felt something wet drop onto my head and body from above. It was puke from a drunk guy in the V.I.P. section. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm for a small party. We started to play a drinking game, and I attempted to chug three beers in two minutes. My stomach wouldn't have that, and I spewed up bright red chunks everywhere and on everyone. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
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Top comments
judgeymcjudge 0
Why the **** would you lick random liquids off your arm without knowing what they are or whose cup/glass/bottle/BODY they came from?! You're an idiot. YDI.
QJD 0
Ugh..That's just.........Im not going to say it. YDI.
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Comments (153)
icehot 0
ha! imagine how it looked from her perspective. you lapping up her vomit like a newborn puppy
blahdsflksfd 0
Im not sure what this liquid is, i better lick it to find out. Theres a strange stain on my blankets, i better lick it to find out. That nuclear waste looks like it tastes like lime, i better lick it to find out
jolar1 0
Has no one else noticed that he kicked this off by telling us that he was dancing with "his girl"? I'm just trying to imagine the kind of "girl" who wouldn't dump a guy the second she saw him lick ANYTHING off of his arm.
chachacha_fml 0
THATS YOUR FAULT, sorry
lologirl419 0
Yes, because it is sooo smart to lick mysterious liquid off your arm, isn't it? Haha... that's gross, but totally your fault. YDI.
neverland_fml 0
Haha, you're so dumb. What kind of idiot just licks things off his arm? 8 times out of 10, it's probably not worth putting in your mouth--10 out of 10, if you include alcohol in that statement.
AnaMaree 0
YDI! Nobody told you to drink spit-up
circayouandme 0
OHHHHHHH NASTYYYYYYYYY,
starvingxartist 0
excuse me? you lick up other people's spilled drinks? what? and you have a girlfriend?
krankypoptart 0
YDI!! thats it.... nothing more.