Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML
Today, I told my mother I was doing fine with my classes when I actually wasn't because her mother is dying, and I didn't want her to have more things to stress about. She found out and she's very hurt. I feel awful about it and I know lying wasn't the right thing to do, but in the moment I didn't want to cause her any more pain. FML
Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML
Today, I called the Suicide hotline. I dialled the number wrong and woke some poor old lady. She thought I was her son and kept asking me, "How come you don't visit anymore?" I told her I couldn't visit because of the Covid pandemic. I lied to an elderly woman I've never met. FML
Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML
Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Callyn 47
Cats can swim, how could this happen? They hate water, the only way I can see this happening is if the cat had a stroke, got hit in the head and passed out or if someone held it down. I hope it's the first one or you have some type of fruit or nut tree near the pool and something happened there, otherwise I'd be absolutely disgusted with you.
a_nix777 0
bastard!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (119)
ayashe 2
The first thing I'd do when I got back home is drown you.
Jtrain615 0
Maybe if you spelled favorite right, like an American, it would still be alive. Damn Canadians. :)
IIzSuperGirl 0
No, Thats right. The REST of the damn world spell it with a 'U' And why the hell would a canadian want to spell like a bloody american?
Person1233 13
Adding the "U" is a waste of a quarter of a brain cell. It just doesnt look right, either -.-
badluckross 21
It doesn't look right? You're ignorant, and don't tell people what does and doesn't look right. Your picture doesn't look right.
Fresh2death2021 0
Come on, you mean to tell me no one here likes wet pussy???
chinCHILLaOUT 0
Jackass
Sun_Kissed18 25
Actually, its a dead pussy. Creep...
SyN0pTiiC 13
prick...
mcpud 0
LOL
chinCHILLaOUT 0
I don't like you either.
Blabloop_Fishie 0
The cats that I know stay the **** away from water. I think you drowned it. YDI
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Please throw yourself in too, ideally with lead weights attached to your feet. Hopefully your mom will take care of this when they return.
chinCHILLaOUT 0
Holy shit. F HER life.
chinCHILLaOUT 0
Another thing; YDI
Erindub 0
Great job killer!
Ducttapemann 0
how could you?