Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after suffering with anxiety and insomnia for a nearly a year and exhausting every natural remedy I could think of, I finally went to go to a doctor for help. Instead of writing me a prescription, he told me to drink more tea and think happy thoughts. I had to pay out of pocket for this. FML
Today, I got up early for a doctor's appointment and chugged two cups of coffee. Ten minutes before I was supposed to leave, my doctor calls asking to reschedule, which would have been fine had I not cleared my whole day for this appointment. Now I'm too wired to go back to bed. FML
Today, I was at work and got chest pains and a headache so bad, I vomited. My supervisor took my blood pressure twice and it was dangerously high both times. I went to the hospital, and after 3 hours of waiting, I got the most expensive lecture ever on drinking too many energy drinks. FML
Today, after being sick and not having coffee for a month, my body has invented a new way of processing caffeine: The tiredness and lethargy remains untouched, while the caffeine-jolt is converted directly into a fuzzy headache. FML
Today, I went to my doctor to discuss my chronic insomnia. After I'd spent ten minutes describing how exhausted I am and how it’s affecting my life, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "Have you tried just closing your eyes and clearing your mind?" I paid a $50 copay to be told how to blink. FML
Today, my boyfriend had an appointment he had to wait months for, after he finally agreed to try to figure out what's making him so tired all the time. He slept through it. FML
Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML
Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
luther48 20
Coffee actually will help cure both. Caffeine is used to help both being tired and headaches.
cutycat136 28
Yes, but doesn't coffee help you keep yourself awake? If you're feeling tired and he is in fact a doctor as he claims (which it doesn't seem like he is) shouldn't he have told you to get more sleep or maybe prescribe something to help you sleep
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
crudeandrudeguy 29
First time I've ever seen a negative in the top comments, at the time I posted this anyways. 1 thumb down made too comment
Miss_Whipped 43
Welcome to the ever-changing world of the FML comment section. On your left, you will see poorly-made puns and comments consisting of "That sucks, OP," and to your right, the damnation and burial of several comments that didn't make the cut! Lots to see, much fun to be had!
TheHarvardian 25
Don't feel bad, OP. I paid for a sleep study just to have a doctor tell me to give up caffeine .
IssacB 14
Weeeeellll WebMD would have convinced you that you had a terminal illness. So you spent money to be safe, rather than panicked for free. Good job :)
kowsee 22
Cheers to coffee!
ebonyirony 29
I recommend you see another doctor.
PennyLane27 32
Wow. Fatigue despite adequate sleep, and constant headaches were my first two notable symptoms of mono. And with mono, you have to be very careful or eliminate caffeine, as it can lead to some serious complications. Not internet diagnosing you, OP, just irritated at your doctor. Go get a second opinion if it continues. FWIW, my first doctor told me I "probably had the flu" and sent me on my way, despite passing out in her office, and presenting a high fever with extreme left side pain, oh and no influenza-like symptoms...other than fever. Also FWIW, a few months later, I discovered she had been fired from the clinic. I hadn't made a complaint, so something else must have happened. The doctor I eventually had, saved my life. TLDR... Go get a second opinion.
hardcorefan16 22
Wait but I always get headaches from drinking coffee, whats wrong with me then? Lol
PrincessZelda_HR 22
Probably nothing; caffeine can weirdly both help and cause headaches.
Tripartita 45
Fun fact about your doctor, OP: he also likes to cook as a hobby. Some tips he's given over the years include: try cracking eggs before mixing them with other ingredients, cook things in pans instead of directly on the stove for less mess, and if you wait for food to cool down it won't burn your mouth when you eat it.
Isamermaid 17
Caffeine-acetaminophen does help my headaches. And I get pretty bad ones. You should give it a try.
musdesimd 18
The dx your dr gave u is caffeine withdrawal; badmouth the dr all u want id support him with the same dx if the all the patient felt was tired n a headaches; if you r having caffeine daily n all of a sudden stop, what to expect with such vague symptoms? A ct scan? Do u kno the differential dx for fatigue n headache: its 1000 different things, theres a method of ruling things in & out; is there fever? Is it sudden; associated cold; multiply that if theres chronic issues from diabetes or hypertension I see so much of bad mouthing doctors & zero appreciation