Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply? "I gotta work that day." FML
Today, my dad said he can't go to my graduation because he has to work. He got fired a month ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML
Today, my dad was supposed to come see me for our twice-a-year visit. He was 3 hours late. So I called, and asked him why he was late. He said, "Oh, something came up." I asked him what was so important. Apparently, the garage needed cleaning. FML
Today, I asked my dad what his plans for Friday were. Apparently, he's going to a concert with my step-mom all evening. It's been their plan for months. Friday is my birthday. That's been set since the day I was born. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML
Today, I attended my father’s funeral. I have the week off work, and one of my colleagues is using this time to make a play for my job. I’m not supposed to be checking emails, so I can’t call them out on it until I get back, by which time it may be too late. FML
Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML
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Top comments
ambowew 7
Time to crack that bass out and practice in the middle of the night. He might learn to appreciate it then.
El_Mero_Mero 0
cut him some slack. he says he's a plumber but when bowser comes and kidnaps princess peach. he has to go recuse her. tell your uncle he never does anything anyways but pretend to do something.
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Comments (115)
Emmanem 0
im in highschoool and am really good at it lol
rockefoe 6
BASS CLARINETS REPRESENT!!! :D
guitarman201 3
who wants to listen to the bass clarinet
bindingfame 0
I'm a F. Horn player and my mom was a bass clarinet player. In my eyes those r 2 of the best soundin instruments in the band
bindingfame 0
Wats wrong with the bass clarinet its a helluva lot better then the oboe or bassoon
oldpeople 0
Are you as good at clairenet as squidward??
gmc_blossom 21
You mean "clarinet" right? She doesn't play clarinet..she plays bass. Squidward plays regular Bb clarinet. Everyone who plays clarinet is better than Squidward. He is just a cartoon character who happens to be bad at an instrument that looks nothing like what it's supposed to be portraying.
toxicxflower 0
...do I know you??
SmAsHiNwInDoWs 0
THATS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
xneuroticallyx 0
this made me die...all because i play the b-flat clarinet. and the fact that your dad already knows his schedule.lmao
0opsie 6
"Today, I realized my dad still has a job when a lot of other people have lost theirs. FML."
JustJoi 9
Calm down I can't change the economy, or the reason why you're dad (if he did) has gotten laid off. And my dad DOES his job, now might i ask why your dad has gotten laid off so i can a.Feel bad for you or b. Laugh in your face. You choose an option.