Today, I tried using hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brewmaster at a beer company. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML
Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML
Today, during my meeting with manager, I found out that my coworkers think that I stink. I literally shower every day and use deodorant and perfume. Am I doing something wrong? FML
Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML
Today, I felt sick at work and tried to run to the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth, but saw a garbage can and removed my hand to let it loose. I forgot to remove my mask. FML
Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML
Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML
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Top comments
glittercookies 12
Go to the bathroom. Take off your shirt. Wash under your arms with the hand soap.
griffins33 4
Deodorant maybe?
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Comments (88)
perdix 31
Your explanation would make your boss think that not only your are an alcoholic in denial, but that you are also a terrible liar and an idiot.
MyaaBayyBee 6
Soap + Water + Deodorant = you're good ! Excuse yourself to the bathroom..lock the door maybe and wash yourself.
lovepandorasaver 11
Deodorant is a small price to pay for being employed.
ramseytt69 8
If his boss fires OP for having a day that most people have then he's an idiot too!!
raelyn75 4
Some people have the issue that deodorant doesn't work for them, or doesn't last. Experiment with types/brands of deodorant. Also, hair is what traps moisture and bacteria, so consider trimming the hair for males and shaving/waxing for females.
Grimmerie 31
This. I have a friend who's allergic to deodorant and people rag on him a lot because of it.
alissa222 15
There's many types of deodorant in the world, I'm SURE if he cared he could find a brand that he's not allergic to.
Grimmerie 31
You'd be surprised. He's tried pretty much every brand of deodorant stocked in grocery stores, drug stores, pharmacies and natural health stores. Seriously, his skin is so sensitive that almost any product - scented soaps, lotions, even talcum powder - will give him a painful rash. Even his own sweat does it sometimes. I've been to a few cons with him, shared hotel rooms with him, and seeing what deodorant does to him is really painful. He usually tries to use it anyway if he's sharing sleeping space - he's a really considerate dude - but it hurts even looking at the sores. I've been trying to help him out but no matter what we do, no matter what the doctor prescribes, he's SOL.
pdp_fml 21
I think Op should shave his pits.
disney_blonde 16
They do Botox for your armpits now for people who sweat too much, stops the sweating in that area.
Icejza_DaChilla 7
You fool! Salt is what does the trick! Get your hands wet and put regular table salt on them then rub the solution on your armpits. The smell from BO comes from the bacteria that grows in your sweat. Salt kills and inhibits the growth of bacteria. Obviously a shower, soap, and deodorant is preferred, but sometimes in a rush of you leave the house and forget then this tip could save you some embarrassment. They even sell salt based deodorants. Better luck next time!
bReLiNg 18
I guess you do learn something every day... It makes sense because I used to make my own saline solution when I ran out of it... Bloody genius!
justhanging 6
Damn you, MacGyver!
ydi_4_suking 20
Will the salt irritate the skin after a while?
Icejza_DaChilla 7
No it won't. It won't be comfortable especially if the salt is still grainy, but I'd take a mild discomfort over smelling like rotten onions any day of the week.
Spazz420 7
Atleast he tried. I think once before dance class I used air freshener. But that was cuz I forgot to put deodorant on. Some people just stink. Try a better ph balanced soap. Sometimes stink happens with a zinc deficiency. Oxy clean for clothes. And for the salt guy, good idea
IsBitchBetter 1
You know what else masks the smell of armpits? Soap, water, deodorant, body spray-any number of funk fighting products.
klovemachine 24
Just don't ********** at work :D
SmittyKick 18
Get Deo for your BO
christa953 12
You could either get deodorant or say that you spilled sanitizer on yourself, op