Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then run up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught in her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
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Top comments
ProfoundNonsense 0
How did your cat get a hold of it? I guess stop leaving them around like that. *shrugs*
poison29 0
ew, poor cat
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Comments (120)
justanotherhuman 21
YDI... I have an issue with where the used condom and cat... ah, "meet" in this equation. What were you doing with the used ones that allowed the *cat* to get a hold of them? I mean... I have fetishes f'in Star Trek couldn't explain, but I'm having serious trouble with this one.
xo_shaawnna 0
Today, I was just walking around the house like any other day when I found this weird round rubber thing. It looked fun to chew so I thought I'd try it out. I accidentally swallowed it and ended up choking. I don't have the intelligence to know that it was a used condom which is totally nasty but if I did, I'd be posting on here. FML
TornRagDoll 0
That sucks for the poor kitty.. but the people saying udi for not disposing of it properly... even if it was wrapped in the trash a cat could get it.. and you should never flush condoms... bad idea.
ZakiyahKiki 0
cats gay?
Cjw1220 0
Semen
frank678 7
the cat must've thought it was milk.
Fakeddd 0
******* cats.
jbloc86 4
My dog did this. went into the garbage and left it on the couch!
kei1108 13
It's really disrespectful to have sex while you are still living in the parents house. I mean, that parent provides everything you need: food, water, electricity, clothes, housing, affection, etc.! And yet you choose to still defy her rules! Seriously?!
tutti77 3
Pussy likes cum? Lol