Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then run up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught in her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
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Top comments
ProfoundNonsense 0
How did your cat get a hold of it? I guess stop leaving them around like that. *shrugs*
poison29 0
ew, poor cat
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Comments (120)
aquariusgirl212 0
NEXT TO the garbage can? Why not IN the garbage can? YDI
mattmag 0
More like **** The Cat's Life!
meandonlyme 0
Does anyone understand that the condom was probably not used?
doof_fisch 2
Trojan Cat
lolwut_fail 0
My dog ate a tampon today, and threw it up. I think my dog and your girlfriend's cat could be good friends - getting into shenanigans and then throwing up.
randomite88 0
Well we'll know who it is if we see a "sperm_scavenger_kitty" going on about: "I can had ****-depository fur nomnom. tastes nuting liek cheezburger. I threws it ups. lol."
invisibledamage 2
That is hilarious.
toomz 0
Well we know the cat swallows, how about your girl ?o_0 Young kids have such trouble disposing a condom, how is it difficult?
DizzyDemon0 9
How old are you to get "caught" having sex?? Hahahaha. Grow up please! I'm allergic to latex. Either use "Skins" brand..or no condom at all :P (feels SOOO much better. I swear..I don't know how some people do it with them sometimes..)
RevaM1ssP1ss 4
Christ. Try disposing of them better. Wrap them up and a bundle of tissues. Or just dispose of them outside of the house.