Today, I was at a wedding, and during the bouquet toss, I stood back and let the single ladies have their moment. The bouquet flew straight at me, hit me in the face, and I instinctively grabbed it. Now everyone thinks I’m desperate to get married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML
Today, during the garter toss at a wedding, all the eligible men yelped and scrambled, evading it like a falling meteor. They apparently wanted to stay single, rather than put it on and dance with the one who caught the bouquet, which was me. FML
Today, I was at a wedding and caught the bouquet. As I was leaving the reception, I slipped on the dance floor and landed on my back, knocking the wind out of me. Everyone thought that I had caught the bouquet, and had fainted from the excitement. FML
Today, at a wedding reception, I accidentally caught the bouquet. I got cussed out by the women who were fighting over it for being uninvited and party crashing. I'm a busgirl and the bouquet only landed on the tray I was holding. FML
Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML
Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML
Today, I was at a wedding and caught the bouquet. My boyfriend of five years panicked and proposed on the spot, thinking I was hinting at something. I just wanted to catch some flowers, but I had to tell him to get a grip without hurting his feelings. FML
Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was at a friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. Everyone cheered, until I slipped on the flowers and fell flat on my back. FML
Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
That’s when you proudly claim you are auto sexual, and eat the bouquet while staring deeply into the closest reflecting surface to establish dominance of your new spouse to be..
Yudith 28
Well, it's very clear that you will get married during the year. Now it's up to you to marry a man, a woman, an intersex person, or an inanimate object. You can also go to India and marry a dog or a tree.
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Comments (2)
tiptoppc 21
That’s when you proudly claim you are auto sexual, and eat the bouquet while staring deeply into the closest reflecting surface to establish dominance of your new spouse to be..
Yudith 28
Well, it's very clear that you will get married during the year. Now it's up to you to marry a man, a woman, an intersex person, or an inanimate object. You can also go to India and marry a dog or a tree.