Today, I was at a grocery store when I saw a kid waving enthusiastically at me. Thinking he was adorable, I waved back with a big smile. The kid looked horrified and ran to his mom, screaming, "Stranger danger!" Everyone in the store aisle turned to stare at me like I was some sort of creep. FM
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I was at a supermarket when I saw a guy waving enthusiastically at me. I waved back, smiling like an idiot. He kept waving, so I waved harder, even giving him the ole finger guns. Then his actual friend walked up behind me, and I realized he wasn’t waving at me at all. The cashier witnessed everything and whispered, “Yikes.” FML
Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML
Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML
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Top comments
Wadlaen 24
I think quite a lot of us would have done the same thing in that situation, and I think a lot agrees that it sounds like a weird kid.
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Comments (3)
poopface82 25
Rule number one of interacting with children you don’t know in public: you probably shouldn’t.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Don't wave at anyone you don't know, regardless of age. Creep.
Wadlaen 24
I think quite a lot of us would have done the same thing in that situation, and I think a lot agrees that it sounds like a weird kid.