Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, I ordered a beer with my parents at dinner. The waitress said, "Oh, happy 22nd birthday." My parents eyes got really big, and they started to blush. They'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her 24th birthday. She got up from the couch as I entered, and I shouted, "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glanced over from the couch and greeted me. FML
Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. Her birthday was actually two months ago, but she decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
did he return with a knowing look?
Capnstinkfoot 0
YDI for being a dumbass, BUT, if she did blow you then take a pic, mail it 2 him w/a note that says " told ya"
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Comments (167)
MsTs1 0
it doesnt mean its not true, bet you 10 bucks she did blew someone in there
xo_emily_xo 0
Haha, damn you are stupid!! And this is def. fake..
danisawesomerthe 0
Idiot
dancin303 0
GUYS HE DIDNT SAY SHE WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND. i love how eveyone just assumes everything. also he DIDNT say that she would blow HIM
akasplash 0
i wouldnt mind being the one she blowing lol that messed up how did u feel
FMLGirl1991 0
i would have said that even if i had known he was her father...at least you're not dating her so it's not toooo awkward!
JiggstheMan 0
and did she?!?!
Boweezee 0
#18; ftw! Nice fail, dude.
IFLML_exceptthis 0
lemme get this straight- you didn't notice his resemblance to her, or his age?
Amorbis 0
You ******* moron. Please do humanity a favour and win a Darwin award