Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, I ordered a beer with my parents at dinner. The waitress said, "Oh, happy 22nd birthday." My parents eyes got really big, and they started to blush. They'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her 24th birthday. She got up from the couch as I entered, and I shouted, "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glanced over from the couch and greeted me. FML
Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. Her birthday was actually two months ago, but she decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
did he return with a knowing look?
Capnstinkfoot 0
YDI for being a dumbass, BUT, if she did blow you then take a pic, mail it 2 him w/a note that says " told ya"
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Comments (167)
Paradoxasaurus 0
Dude. Her father said it. Her father suggested that his daughter was going to perform oral sex. Or does incest not bother you?
BigSexy123 11
Dude, did you read it at all? HE, the OP, whispered it to her DAD. Not the other way around.
bulldawg2468 0
wtf? dumb@$$
thecatspajamas59 0
Um. I'm pretty sure if shes 21 she can blow whoever she wants at that point it is none of daddys concern. shes not a baby.
mybabaygirl 0
That's not even funny. WTF?!? # incest much?
holierthanbloodx 5
How do you not deserve that? It's her birthday and how is making fun of a tradition funny?
ThePaul007 14
What did he say??
Mabonga 12
good thing you were gatecrashing
Hurmbifrum 14
I'm sure all he did was stay silent, thinking, disappointed, 'I know....'
Joseph__Pierce 7
did he beat your ass
anabanana101 15
Run!!