Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I rolled over in bed and asked my boyfriend if we could go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3pm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friends and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I woke up to my partner showering me with love and gifts. Confused, I asked, "What's the occasion?" It was our anniversary. Not only had I forgotten, but I'd also scheduled a gaming marathon with friends for the entire day. FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
brazillianbabe 0
I would dump his bootie in a heartbeat. If he cant do something nice for your birthday now, and has the audacity to say that now, he will only get worse with time. You can do so much better. Happy 21st :)
log1k 3
kick his ass out of bed and make him take you to the park, its your day. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (226)
bitca 0
Ha, I think your bf and I would get along famously. Female, by the way.
xxnickiixx 0
ouch.that douche bag.i'm sorry .really.
ammali 0
Hope you dumped his ass... anybody deserves better than that.
coffeennicotine 0
You need to dump him. YDI because you're staying with the jerk. I'm sure it's not the first time he was a total ass to you.
Vanesa_fml 0
If I were you, I would've dumped him right there. He doesn't deserve you if he says something like that.
theatregal1981 0
OMG that's sick!
SonaroaaDii 0
ouu harsh. break up with him. i agree with #174
jb193 0
birthdays count for **** all. it serves you right rule one of keeping a guy is don't wake us up early and especially don't expect us to be chirpy when you do its a recipie for disaster
Unt0uchabl3 0
Next time he asks you for a ******* or sex, say "pfft, you wish I loved you that much". That will teach him.
unlucky_chap 0
that still gives you that night to go out and party. i dont see a problem with that, but u still shoulda smacked him