Today, I was once again handed a document to translate, along with the comment, "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I won't get paid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed I spend most of my day translating French, German, and other languages for my boss, as he talks to people overseas. As his assistant I make crap money. If I were promoted to a Translator I’d make a lot more. He won’t promote me. In fact he threatened to fire me if I asked again. FML
Today, my boss's son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML
Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML
Today, I had to reply to my boss's comments to a 50+ page document. Every second comment could be answered by, "See the sentence above/below" because apparently someone has problems with his short term memory. FML
Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML
Today, my boss asked me to send an email on his behalf with an important report attached. I've already received 3 responses from directors commenting on poor spelling and factual errors. I get paid 1/4 the salary of my boss and he can't even write properly. FML
Today, my boss signed and sent me back my timesheet. He named the PDF file "Timeshit". Now I don't know whether he's terrible at spelling, or just expressed his view of my job. FML
Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML
Today, I'm jobless and picked up transcription work online. I typed furiously all day. I have made a grand total of $2.06. FML
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Well, ****... Good luck then op! Lol.
sparklyshiny 11
Fake it, if it makes sense according to the situation, you may be able to pull it off
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Comments (65)
Rue22 16
Make something up :)
perdix 31
How do you say "Take This Job and Shove It" in German? You need to learn that song by Johann von Paycheck and sing it to your boss when such bullshit gets tossed your way.
isallwaysme 27
i said i quit- you fat motherfuckerrr, Im goin home and Im snokin grass. (Nice Peter lyrics)
yoursucklives 36
"nimm diesen job und steck in dir in den arsch"
Wizardo 34
So you're proofreading and spell checking and translating at the same time? All hail Siri 2.0!
thatnucca 36
Damn! Now I can't even complain about my shitty ass job... Good luck OP
FlyingLeumer 19
The perfect translation does not exist, well, at least not in your language, but if they must know, tell them to picture this: 50 billion rainbows and the sun is setting and the moon is setting also and they're there in a gazebo, and then God descends from heaven and gives them a million dollars.
ImmaEatYouXx 10
I thought I was the only weirdo who knew that song :O
HunterSeabreeze 11
#17 , you sir (or ma'am) are awesome! *TOBUSCUS*
rivaraven 35
Good luck! Hopefully you can understand it better.
perdix 31
That same ol' situation: Garbage In, Scheiss Aus.
cottoncandymango 17
Translate it into something funky and out of the ordinary! Good luck! ;)
lilacgold 16
I know that feeling. If all else fails, throw it into Google Translate, stare at the resulting jumble to see if the words have any kind of theme, and write something based on that. Always worked for me.
JasonUMN 15
You are looking at this the completely wrong way...this is your chance to say whatever you want and blame it on the person who originally wrote it.