knickersdontfit
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Loosey-goosey
Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML
Top comments
chazzlerazzle 0
Wow, this FML totally brings back memories. Well okay, it may seem disjointed and unrelated at first, but it clicks together at the end. So there I was, back in 'Nam, on a routine patrol about five kliks out from Hanoi. There's me riding shotgun, looking real constipated, sparkling in the sunlight and staring out across the war-torn fields like a god damn wannabe vampire straight out of a really crappy book saga. Little Jimmy was in the back, having his way with a pre-pubescent gopher. Yeah, Jimmy always was a little cracked in the head, but God bless him, he saved my life when I accidentally walked into that Klan meeting wearing nothing but a **** me dress and a makeshift thong made from an elastic band. But I digress. We were rolling on back to base when it happened. An IED blew our nuts off, and it all went downhill from there. Say what you like about the Viet Cong, but they sure knew how to lay a good ambush. Thankfully, the sheer amount of light reflecting off my bare sparkling chest blinded them and we took a good few of 'em out before their air support rained chloroform-soaked panties down on our feminine forms. Well, what are you gonna do against that? Little Jimmy didn't stand a chance. Screamed "WIIIIIII!" like a man possessed and inhaled enough chloroform to kill an ox. Yeah, we were never quite the same after that. Quit the army and took to posting "WI" on first posts across the internet in honour of Lil' Jim, God rest his soul. Wee-woo.
FMLephant 2
A shit? They're pretty simple.
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Comments (103)
itsElliexD 0
Well, now you know your diet worked.
Clover2009 0
stfu guidette.
meliannoo 5
OH gawd! thats sooo embarrassing! But congrats on the weight loss, keep up the good work!
Lufferkinz 0
Next time, wear pants instead of walking around the store in just your panties, so if they do fall off, you're covered.
pasiphae9 5
She was probably wearing a skirt or dress? Not many people tend to walk around with only panties covering their bottom half, you know.
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
Not many people understand sarcasm, you know.
manzanita2121 6
I like blue waffles
sovetskiy 8
45 is disgusting
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Lufferkinz comment may have been a joke but it is most definitely not sarcasm. If you doubt me than just look up the actual definition of sarcasm.
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
Sorry I don't live up to your high standards of humor definitions, oh Wise One. ^^sarcasm. in case you didn't know.
LoveMySoldier82 0
Or just don't wear panties.
thelastavailable 13
Well, at least you lost weight..?
UpsidedownKayak 9
Go commando, then you don't have to worry about dropping your panties and it will make easier access for the guys you are going to attract. Congratulations on the weight loss.
jordan_may 0
*whistles* wooot wooot
perdix 31
Way to go! Now, get rid of those grañny panties and show off that sweet ass in a hot thong!
TheNewGuy03 29
i personally enjoy your strategic use of the tilde. perhaps you should go on a tyrannical tilde tantrum...? |the kid|
DocBastard 40
I have the same effect on women. Their panties just fall off in front of me.
IWIWP 3
Is that your daughter? She's soooo adorable.
guppy40000 0
maybe you didnt loose weight and instead the elastic band broke. check a scale if you are looking for actual results.
FarSide 23
More like the rope broke.