FML for mobile
Free

Open in app
FMyLife
knickersdontfit This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff United States

Loosey-goosey

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Top comments

chazzlerazzle 0

Wow, this FML totally brings back memories. Well okay, it may seem disjointed and unrelated at first, but it clicks together at the end. So there I was, back in 'Nam, on a routine patrol about five kliks out from Hanoi. There's me riding shotgun, looking real constipated, sparkling in the sunlight and staring out across the war-torn fields like a god damn wannabe vampire straight out of a really crappy book saga. Little Jimmy was in the back, having his way with a pre-pubescent gopher. Yeah, Jimmy always was a little cracked in the head, but God bless him, he saved my life when I accidentally walked into that Klan meeting wearing nothing but a **** me dress and a makeshift thong made from an elastic band. But I digress. We were rolling on back to base when it happened. An IED blew our nuts off, and it all went downhill from there. Say what you like about the Viet Cong, but they sure knew how to lay a good ambush. Thankfully, the sheer amount of light reflecting off my bare sparkling chest blinded them and we took a good few of 'em out before their air support rained chloroform-soaked panties down on our feminine forms. Well, what are you gonna do against that? Little Jimmy didn't stand a chance. Screamed "WIIIIIII!" like a man possessed and inhaled enough chloroform to kill an ox. Yeah, we were never quite the same after that. Quit the army and took to posting "WI" on first posts across the internet in honour of Lil' Jim, God rest his soul. Wee-woo.

A shit? They're pretty simple.

Add a comment · Reply to

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Comments (103)

KrazyLove56 4

life doesn't get better than this does it

madgrinchhatter 12

Backdoor brag much?

Well it's working. Time for new clothes!

Ninjasaurus18 9

Good job losing weight! And maybe start wearing pants/shorts and GET NEW UNDERWEAR.

KatarinaaaG 0

At least you lost weight.....(:

PhishloverA 14

Gravity just pantsed you haha

At least it's working

Pantie droppin' like a baws.

How is this an FML? Your diet is working

Sounds like u weren't wearing pants