Today, I was lobstering. While I was getting bands, my co-worker decided it would be funny to make a lobster pinch my ear. it was a 4 pound lobster, and my ear was swollen for 5 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML
Today, I made fun of a crazy-looking woman at the park. The man next to me turned out to be her husband, and he dragged me by my ear over to apologize to her. My friends are still laughing at me and my ear is swollen to twice the usual size. FML
Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
Today, a big crab at the beach got hold of my headphones and wouldn’t let go. Rather than wait and try to tease them free, my husband just grabbed the crab and ripped the claw off its body. The man has no patience or respect for other living things at all. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
Today, we had a fish fry for Father's Day. I ended up getting a fish bone lodged in my tonsil, and I had to rush to the bathroom to pull it out. I threw up three times in the process and still didn't manage to get the bone out. FML
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
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Top comments
DGross 8
I say unleash a 6 pound one on his nuts and see how he likes it :-P
vexis58 1
I was not aware lobster could be a verb. Learn something new every day.
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Comments (63)
vexis58 1
I was not aware lobster could be a verb. Learn something new every day.
RequiemCube 0
Any word can be verbed.
fantastamazing 10
It means "to fish for lobsters." But that's not entirely accurate, since you catch them in a trap, and no one wants to say that they're "trapping lobsters"
fantastamazing 10
It means "to fish for lobsters." But that's not entirely accurate, since you catch them in a trap, and no one wants to say that they're "trapping lobsters"
amymarie13 0
just as immature to tell him to do that
perdix 31
I decided it would be funny if you gave his girlfriend crabs.
CallMeHush 1
with butter.
astarwarsfan 0
WIN
No_Intentions 0
@ 12 I lol'd. But I don't think cats like being taken to work... dilemma?
creativegenius 0
Snickers!!! just be quiet for five minutes you know nothing know it all!!!!
ElMundio87 0
I'm confused, neither the comment that you replied to, nor the poster that was referenced in the comment you replied to was actually Snickerdoodles.
jimmyla 0
agreed with #16 :p
Gazoooo 0
Forget the lobster/balls deal. You should have popped him in the nose but you didn't. I agree with the "Epic Win" comment. You missed your chance.
shamille 5
huh. I didn't know lobster was a verb. I guess it's better than "fishing for lobster" though.
amazingjane 0
what a ********!
FailsFTW 0
lmfao! FYL
Patsfan207 0
Of course lobstering is a verb. Just as much as "fishing", "farming" and "harvesting". Being born and raised in Maine, I may have had a little more exposure to the word than others.