Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got an email that my Amazon account was probably hacked, and they have gone ahead and canceled all orders that seemed suspicious. Two days ago I was celebrating that I'd finished Christmas shopping early. Never mind. FML
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
Today, the most exciting notification I received was Amazon telling me that my bulk order of toilet paper had been shipped. FML
Today, I installed an app that notifies me of every purchase on my credit card. Now I'm being tormented by notification after notification as my wife decimates our finances. FML
Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML
Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover. Reading my texts and emails, I then sort of remembered that in my drunken haze I'd booked a non-refundable flight to the wrong city for the same day. FML
Today, I finally got a product I ordered two weeks ago as a free trial-only pay shipping deal. Also today, the same company took an extra $130 out of my account without authorisation. Best part: when I called to sort things out, they told me they had no record of my order details. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML
Today, after my bank sent me a new card because the old one had been compromised, I woke up to find that it's already been used to start an Amazon Prime account and order several movies. The card to replace a compromised card has been compromised. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
. I made a drunk amazon purchase once. It was a cookie monster t-shirt. Best purchase of my life!
fuzz97 23
You'd think you would have learned better after the second or third time.
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Comments (86)
lonecracker 5
Addiction is when a chemical, object, person, or action begins to become harmful to other parts of your life, and/or the people around you. I am sorry to say that you have a serious addiction.
JerseyBro 0
Anyone else notice his name?
dcgriffith_fml 8
FYI. the definition of insanity is "continuing to do the same thing but expecting different results"
ZeusWarrior 8
I'll take it
soccerchick800 10
Or how about not getting drunk 4 times a week? Or at all for that matter..
2112mike 4
Are you Kassem G?
chefkid 5
I'll take it, $15
isis_morrigan 18
Even the first time I would have very little sympathy, since this is the fourth in a month, I have absolutely no sympathy. Sounds like you might want to consider cutting back on the drinking, I'm thinking you are well on your way to developing a problem.
alyravenous16 0
I'll take it!
CrackerJack127 3
Omg Dwight Schrute!!! :D