Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and, just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML
Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML
Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML
Today, I created a 3D sculpture for a competition that I was hoping might impress some people, and maybe lead to a job with a particular company. I finished it last night for the competition, but this morning I realised it’s too big to get it out of my front door without taking it apart. FML
Today, my boyfriend got frustrated trying to take my entertainment center into the basement for the kids' game room. It didn't fit, thanks to the horrible design of the house, so he Spartan-kicked it down, breaking it into 15 pieces. FML
Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML
Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML
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Top comments
UnoriGal 17
Anyone else thinking of NCIS while reading this? OP should try and disassemble the kayak into parts that can make it out the door then reassemble it, no? (I have no idea whether that would actually work with kayaks though...) Either way, good luck, OP!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Well... better start over outside!
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Comments (141)
RavenZea 6
Got Gibbs? Lol. Sorry, OP. It just sounds like something from NCIS.
kazmie 8
you clearly didn't think that through before you started the project.
wisericky 12
Flood your basement once a month and have a good time. :D
seacadet 18
Good job, Gibs.
Cinn_fml 23
You missed the 2nd 'b' that stands for bastard. :P
RedPillSucks 33
How big is your kayak that you can't fit it through a normal size door? I didn't have any problems getting mine in and out of the basement.
kpc2424 13
Next time build it in the bathroom, that'd fix ya!
buddy51 23
Clearly, OP, you must destroy your house to free the boat! Get going, it's home wrecking massive demolition time!! Happy paddling, now that you're homeless and free to travel the waterways of the world!!
R5luver 5
Well I guess it's time to rebuild a new one in the garage!!
frontmanmike 14
Is your name Leroy Jethro Gibbs? Do you work for NCIS? If not, you should call him. He seems to know how to get boats out of basements.
tigerisabelle 31
Well, OP, you could just chop it half and super glue it back together. OR you could bulldoze a giant hole in your basement wall and take it out. :)