Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and, just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML
Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML
Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML
Today, I created a 3D sculpture for a competition that I was hoping might impress some people, and maybe lead to a job with a particular company. I finished it last night for the competition, but this morning I realised it’s too big to get it out of my front door without taking it apart. FML
Today, my boyfriend got frustrated trying to take my entertainment center into the basement for the kids' game room. It didn't fit, thanks to the horrible design of the house, so he Spartan-kicked it down, breaking it into 15 pieces. FML
Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML
Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
UnoriGal 17
Anyone else thinking of NCIS while reading this? OP should try and disassemble the kayak into parts that can make it out the door then reassemble it, no? (I have no idea whether that would actually work with kayaks though...) Either way, good luck, OP!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Well... better start over outside!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
olpally 33
Just bull rush the door and see what happens! Haha. Or cut out the rest of the door way.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Split the kayak in half then super glue it back together, fail proof solution right there.
BeachBumNC 5
Duct tape would probably work better than super glue.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Flex Seal. That is all.
thebosslikeaboss 18
Nah chewing gum is where it is at! ;)
Poetaster 10
You work for rhe US government?
FightMyLiger 19
Polish Government.
Paco_el_Taco 17
The 7 P's apply here. Proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance.
slimkelsey 17
Try saying that ten times fast
slimkelsey 17
It's a nice tongue twister
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Ten times? I can barely say it once.
Paco_el_Taco 17
Its a good motto to live by regardless how fast you can or can't say it.
cecilk 29
If I leave the 'prior' away, I can say it fast. Otherwise I get stuck on the 2nd word each time
wolfeyes00 10
Same here!
systemic 11
Time to put in a legitimate door to your basement then.
emeraldisle 30
Did you ever think to measure the size of it before you built it to make sure it would fit?
Kateyez_26 13
That's what I was thinking
buddy51 23
And if he had where would his FML be? Trapped in his basement?
Bewareimaninja 4
Sounds like gibbs from ncis!
Acrlyx 8
Here'ssss your sign
Kateyez_26 13
Epic fail lol
CaptainBlack 18
I feel your pain. This one time I made a ship in a bottle and I couldn't get it out for the LIFE of me.
hashshim 23
That's kind of the point. they're supposed to stay in the bottle...