Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and, just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML
Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML
Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML
Today, I created a 3D sculpture for a competition that I was hoping might impress some people, and maybe lead to a job with a particular company. I finished it last night for the competition, but this morning I realised it’s too big to get it out of my front door without taking it apart. FML
Today, my boyfriend got frustrated trying to take my entertainment center into the basement for the kids' game room. It didn't fit, thanks to the horrible design of the house, so he Spartan-kicked it down, breaking it into 15 pieces. FML
Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML
Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML
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Top comments
UnoriGal 17
Anyone else thinking of NCIS while reading this? OP should try and disassemble the kayak into parts that can make it out the door then reassemble it, no? (I have no idea whether that would actually work with kayaks though...) Either way, good luck, OP!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Well... better start over outside!
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Comments (141)
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Well... better start over outside!
godisnowhere41 5
Gibbs made it work so I'm sure you can figure something out
Nordrag 26
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of Gibbs immediately.
jedorr07 5
Gibbs is a television character, you can't be exactly like him OP
TheCanucklehead 22
Make a large door and take it through :-/
\ 28
I know of a guy who smashed a hole in his house to remove his replica Lamborghini Countach he spent 17 years building... That might work!
raddybear 11
I would just break it down and re asemble it in the garage or something maybe into 3-4 pieces depends how big it is
Cupcake040 17
Wouldn't breaking the kayak down into 3-4 pieces put stress on the ability for it to float and resist water? Im not saying that you would never be able to make it float ever again but i do think that cutting it up would definitely ruin some of its long term durability.
sunflowerchild 10
If Spongebob can make fire underwater you can get your kayak out of the basement. Use your imaginaaaaaation.
SokDek 14
Reminds me of the guy that built a Countach replica in his basement.. Took him 15 years, he had to cut a hole in the floor and use a crane to get it out.. And after all that trouble he sold it!
ryanpreiss 17
one guy built car in his basement and then made a garage door for it lol
FalconWhitaker 20
I was just coming here to make sure somebody had made a reference to Gibbs. You made my day so far :D
SoulAmeliorate 16
I guess kayaking is just the base of all your problems.
xBethanyC 15
row row row your boat, roughly out the house. struggling struggling struggling struggling, like a dying mouse.
friedpwnadge 25
1. Flood your basement and offer an indoor kayak touring service. 2. ??? 3. Profit.
hashshim 23
77: You should have broken step 1 into two steps rather than have a bunch of question marks
mattrd_fml 31
124: you have obviously never watched south park. Google "underwear gnomes"
SerenaSerenadex3 13
The solution is simple: just fill your basement with water and row it out to freedom! Sorry OP I tried, that rows- I mean blows!
Pwn17 25
Because filling the basement with water magically makes it fit through the door.
SerenaSerenadex3 13
I was trying to add some levity to the sucky situation, sorry to offend you with my sarcasm and stupidity
Pwn17 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No need to apologize, you didn't offend. I've said dumber things before. :)
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Maybe I'm the dumb one..I thought that plan was flawless. And to make sure he could row it out after he floods his basement, he can use sticks of butter to lube up the doorway! It works in cartoons, so obviously it has to work in this situation.
jstorie95 8
Cut a bigger doorway
FightMyLiger 19
I bet its a tight corner. Even a sea kayak could fit through a standard door.
Soloman212 28
Maybe he just never had a door to begin with and has been living in his sealed basement.
NeatNit 33
Break the door area and then spend 5 years rebuilding it.
UnoriGal 17
Anyone else thinking of NCIS while reading this? OP should try and disassemble the kayak into parts that can make it out the door then reassemble it, no? (I have no idea whether that would actually work with kayaks though...) Either way, good luck, OP!
JACKxRAWR 22
Giiiiiibbs! OP could knock out one of the walls and ramp it outside.
kpc2424 13
Forget about the kayak Gibbs. Just drink all the scotch and you'll certainly plot a course right out of the basement!
gotaplanstan 28
Yep, first thing that came to mind. Looks like it's time to give yourself a slap on the back of the head OP.
Sputnikspak 13
I did! My first thought was 'YOU SHOULD ASK GIBBS'.
cdncw 20
Yep, Gibbs was the first thing that came to mind reading this... Also, I'm at work and someone just asked for scissors... I pulled out my knife. He looked at me funny as I flipped it open for him, so I said "Rule Number Nine".... I don't think he watches the show, he was even more confused after that.
summerguy97 16
This isn't NCIS. You are not Gibbs. You can't take a fully built boat out of a basement.
WCARlover 35
I'm guessing you also didn't get a bachelor's degree in that 4 years' time, too? :P
Poetaster 10
Dont tell me... You work for rhe IRS right?
alshygirl 14
Does the IRS build kayaks now?
kee_breezy32 34
time for plan B?
FightMyLiger 19
Abort! Abort!
hashshim 23
More like contracept, but nice try.