Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I'm "so hot". I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds, "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply, "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in, in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It's the Pokémon theme song. FML
Today, a fresh gust of wind blew a really attractive woman's skirt up in front of me, revealing her yellow panties with Pikachu's face on it. Pulling her skirt down and giving me an evil leer, instead of apologizing, I somehow blurted out, "Pikachu!" imitating its voice. I ultimately got slapped on the face. FML
Today, I thought a cute and well-dressed guy, with a mask matching his shoes, was taking a picture of me. Flattered, I approached him. Turns out, he was playing Pokémon Go and was just trying to catch a “Geodude.” He also blurted out that he was gay. He's into dudes and Geodudes. FML
Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML
Today, I was walking in the street, and ahead of me was a girl with a flowing dress. It was windy and the dress lifted up, showing for a split second Pokemon underwear. Before I could stop myself, I said: "Pikachu, I see you." She turned around and slapped me. FML
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML
Today, I was playing Pokémon Go and I was trying to take a picture of my Pokémon when a woman said, "Are you filming me?" really angrily at me. "No, I'm playing Pokémon go," I said, then tried to show her my Pokémon but it disappeared from the screen, and she said, "You ARE filming me." FML
Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
Today, I was making out with this hot girl at a party. She was a bad kisser and I meant to say, "It's like you're 16 and don't know how to kiss" but it came out as, "It's like I'm kissing a 16 year-old." The room fell silent and she got off my lap with a disturbed look on her face. FML
Today, in the midst of an interview, I was asked what my best qualities are. I panicked and quickly responded that I can make a great Pikachu impression. They wanted to hear it. FML
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Top comments
Carlyyy 0
What did she mean then, "I love ditto." ...
kigaz 0
I would've thought the exact same thing. Pokemon ftw.
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Comments (337)
larsonbp 0
F her life for not knowing about pokemon. you can do better.
plexico 4
Good thing she didn't mention Rush Limbaugh -- I would have vomited on her face. FYI, don't mention "Poke a mon" in Jamaica, over their it means gay anal sex.
STVader 0
lol so thats what Ash meant when he said wanna catch them all. He was talkin bout aids...
kc2_fml 0
pokemon makes everything sexier
arms_akimbo 0
smooth move, exlax.
nebjamin69 0
Well next time you know to keep your mouth shut... then she'll actually play with your pokeballs...
xOpheliacx 0
....why would you say "ditto" anyway? YDI. But she sounds like a dumbass anyway.
mister_moops 0
she probably doesn't know what ditto means. ditto isn't even a word that fits into any sexual convo. also, makes her even sexier? oh, yeah, baby, talk pokemon to me.
Buffel 0
So I take it she's not into hot Skitty on Wailord action then.
Mikey_Mayhem 0
you.... are... soo... awesome
eglk201 0
thats probably one of the best things i have ever heard
bzlnv8 0
do u know what ditto means guys, not pokemon