Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days, which means I'll be able to deep clean the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML
Today, at home, I always do my share of the chores. I just got back from a business trip and it turns out that I actually do ALL the chores. My wife was alone for 9 days, the kitchen was a in state, dirty laundry everywhere, cat litter box overflowing onto the floor, and the bathroom was fucking disgusting. FML
Today, I moved out a few weeks ago because I was sick of my husband not helping around the house, and told him he’d never manage without me. I checked today while he was at work. The house is the cleanest I’ve ever seen it; apparently he doesn’t need me and most of the mess was actually mine. FML
Today, I'm on my sixth straight day of double shifts, with four more to go. I make overtime so I'm not complaining, but today my wife texted me, "Going out of town tonight, I expect the house to be spotless when I return." Not sure how I'm going to swing this one. FML
Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, I got excited over a canceled booty call, just so I wouldn't have to clean the apartment. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Today, I returned home early from a week away for work. I was worried about my husband's mental health after a week alone with our two ADD kids. He wasn’t expecting me, but I was surprised to see the house cleaner than it had ever been, and our children happily reading on the couch. How did he do that? FML
Today, I realized I'm so tired of cleaning houses all day to come home to a dirty house that I don't have the energy to clean. I need to hire my own cleaning lady. FML
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Top comments
kenzier513 8
i only clicked you deserved it because every woman deserves 5 days by herself every once in awhile! lol
RememberSchlitz 9
I know, right! When my wife goes off on business I do the same thing, but in reverse.
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Comments (28)
UnstumpableTrump 10
Donald Trump will deep clean this country
mezochan 29
I've done this. Sometimes it's just easier when the husband isn't in the way. Or complaining about how everything smells like bleach or vinegar.
Lonelychick1249 16
Good for you! And if you get done early don't forget to reward yourself.
dontknow1 19
It's good to have time for yourself. I hope you enjoy.
sidheazel 2
Always good to have time to yourself. Even better if you're like me and enjoy cleaning. Put some music on and jam out!
BananEnigma 24
Meh. This is exactly how I feel every time my son goes somewhere for the weekend... I CAN FINALLY CLEAN AND THE HOUSE WILL STAY CLEAN! At least until Sunday afternoon/night that is. v_v
LAURA_EL_JUICE 6
OMG, this happened to me. I understand
hpandher 16
Monica??
faifai_fml 21
I'm honestly confused as to why this is an FML. 1) time to yourself: win!!!, 2) clean house: win!!! I mean, this is just winning all 'round.
nousernameavail 6
My husband just left today for a week! I'm excited to clean and just have some me time!!