Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son admitted that he worked out how to make a fuse in my house's fusebox blow, by turning on all the appliances and lights in the house at once. He's done it three days in a row because when the lights go out, I 'scream and act like Donald Duck, but with swearing' and it's hilarious. FML
Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML
Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML
Today, I asked my mom why the lamp in the living room wasn’t working. She immediately plugged it in, it worked, and she called me a complete idiot. I haven’t slept in a week. FML
Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML
Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted, "False flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML
Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML
Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML
Today, my dad stumbled home drunk at closing time and woke the whole house with a bang by attempting to heat a tin of baked beans in the microwave, without removing the beans from the tin first. FML
Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML
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Top comments
lilhellian 27
Pft potatoes only go so far.. Now bananas...
FlamingTacos 7
Potatoes might be able to conduct electricity, but flaming tacos can do so much more.
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Comments (40)
outoftown 27
Why people should finish school BEFORE they have kids.
Cathrin 26
The 1.5 volts a potato generates is enough to power a superintelligent AI. He's on the right track.
kurodansei 16
now your thinking with portals
StanSmith2013 26
People, people! Stop being so abusive towards OPs father! A man learns not through reading guides and manuals but through trial and error!
cjrand 7
don't tell him its cuzz of the electrolytes... he might start dipping them in gatorades
SavannaKautz 2
Pfffft noob. Iv made potato batteries ;)
WcED 8
Pfftt thats the shit bro!.....gtfo
Dnigz13 4
Atleast he isn't some grouchy or boring dad, IDE enjoy watching my father plug everything into potatoes all day in fact IDE probably end up helping him try to get it to work haha
dan_in_wi 12
how many idiots does it take to turn on a light bulb?
StephenStills 6
Potato power? What is this sorcery...
Chazzzor 10
It just goes to show that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing! (1) The potatoe, lemon, pickle, etc is only the conductive media. The energy comes from the chemical energy from the dissimilar metals that are inserted in the media and their reaction. (2) These are batteries - meaning they give DC power, not AC like your house current. (3) A potatoe or pickle battery with copper and zinc electrodes gives only around 1 Volt at a low current - probably less than 1/10 Watt maximum under the best case. Your appliances take 100's of Watts at a specific Voltage and AC frequency. The good thing is that besides looking dumb, it is impossible to damage your appliances this way - nothing happens at all.
DanielleinDC 34
Okay, Dan Quayle, it's time for a spelling lesson. Potato, singular, does not have an "e". Only when it's plural does it have an "e". You know, I probably would have tried the same thing myself and been mildly disappointed that it's only a light bulb that works.
ideasrule 13
An incandescent light works perfectly fine, with absolutely no modifications, with both DC and AC. A LED works even better with DC as long as the polarity is right, because it can only pass current in one direction. Only a fluorescent can't use DC, because the starting ballast expects to convert 60 Hz AC into high-frequency AC and the capacitors are all designed for AC.
carnage45567 10
Haha that's hilarious get a few laughs and give your old man a science lesson