Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, I overheard my crush and his friend talking about girls they would date. When his friend mentioned me, my crush said, “If she wasn’t fat, hell yeah.” Choking back tears at school for the rest of the day was not an easy task. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML
Today, I went to my class as usual. I've had my eyes on one guy for a year now. A new girl came in and he was talking about her with his friends when my friend suggested me instead of her. He took a glance at me before turning back into the conversation making the same face I did when I saw a disintegrated frog that'd been run over. FML
Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML
Today, I didn't have the courage to tell the guy who likes me that I only thought of him as a friend, so I asked my best friend to do it for me. It turns out that her way of doing this is telling him to "Fuck off" and then punching him in the face. FML
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about how much of an asshole my ex-boyfriend is. After about 2 hours of non-stop bitching, it turns out she's actually dating him. FML
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Top comments
Enzi_fml 21
Oh gosh finally, the revolt against the friendzoned "nice guys" has begun!
whinthy 18
Headphones
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Comments (155)
yzzami 17
I hate it when guys think that just because they like a girl, they are obligated to feel the same
SuperDanielNL 23
It works both ways, although men are more vocal about it, in general.
Caitlon 6
Why didn't you tell him politely?
Ziggy122 15
Very few things irritate me more than self-entitled douchebags who think girls are machines that you can drop "nice guy" coins into to make sex or a relationship come out. It doesn't work that way, brah. If she's not interested in you, she is not obligated to sleep with you. Put on your big boy pants and move on.
Featherwind 11
That sucks, OP. Having to deal with annoying high schoolers sucks and I feel you. However, you could have put it a little more politely or just moved. Or used headphones. FYL
rebelliousshroom 12
What pisses me off the most about the "friendzone" expression, is that most of the time, it's actually presumptuous. I doubt that this douchebag who punched OP, is considered a friend by the girl.
Ziggy122 15
True. Very true. Some guys' heads are just so far up their own asses that they think a kick to the balls after unwanted sexual advances is considered "friendzoning".
vladimirnabokov 15
"Delusional fuckface" - accurately describes nearly all the kids who attend my school. I hear you, OP. Ice your eye, and the next time you see that asswipe, punch his ass back.
InvisibleMonster_fml 16
YDI OP, you should've minded your business, especially if he's delusional.
joeymo304 9
I'm probably going to get the negative vote off. However you sound like the typical angry kid at school that hates everyone and thinks everyone hates you. I bet if you adjusted your attitude a bit you wouldn't have to get worried about getting a black eye and more people would like you.
RobertGlessinv 3
You better have hit him back
PiNkMoOn 9
sorry for that,of course he loves her,so that hurted his feelings