Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML
Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML
Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
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Top comments
Rkikkas9713 25
Why is your husband giving you the silent treatment? Also if you don't find it soon, you'll be sure to find it once it starts stinking!
dramaelf 37
My cat gives me the silent treatment most days anyway, I honestly wouldn't notice the difference.
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Comments (48)
minorthreat13 2
Man that sucks. One time my cat peed on my spotless white coat and even though as was wondering what stunk as I left the house, I didn't even notice until I was already out and my friend asked me what that stain was on my back shoulder. I think your story might suck more but I shunned my cat for like 2 weeks
joshi42 16
And what exactly are you expecting your cat to say?
Isa_fml 20
Either the cat will find it, or you'll be able to sniff it out when it starts to smell. :P
SexyMexi21 23
What could be a more logical response then?
worldclassrager 41
Just follow your nose...unless it was playing dead
ww431 15
Maybe it wasn't entirely dead and is now living with you! If you find him you'll have to charge him rent! :)
tehdarkness 21
Your husband should be more supportive.
Iwannarock1 19
Just go back to sleep, the cat will find it, and put it back in your chest.
fuckyadvice 1
are you sure it was dead? sometimes my cat just wounds them
mayhemily 7
I get why the cat is mad. 1) That was a gift for you, and 2) cats are always mad. But why is your husband mad? He seems like a dick.